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Over the years, Miami has served as the backdrop for hundreds of Hollywood movies. In Celluloid City, we spotlight some of the classics shot right in our own backyard.
Striptease, a box office dud despite cameos of a pair of million-dollar assets in the form of Demi Moore’s tatas (which got plenty of air time), has more Florida connections than the Bush Family (see 2000 Presidential election). It was based on a book written by our very own Carl Hiaasen; it was shot here; and it starred one of our very favorite residents: the Bandit himself, Burt Reynolds.
We have every reason to root for this movie, to pull for it inclusion in the annals of cinematographic history. Unfortunately, it belongs instead in the annals of film history alongside the likes of Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach and Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise. But so what, that doesn’t mean you can’t catch reruns on TBS or TNT and say, “Hey, I recognize that strip club booth.”
The movie probably lost most of what little credibility it ever had before production even started as a result of gross miscasting. Despite her mammories, few would buy Demi Moore as a stripper (we’ve seen planks with more hip swivel). Burt Reynolds as a congressman? You’d have better luck casting him as college footbally player, even at his advanced age. And we have no idea how Armand Assante found his way into this movie, the Irish-Italian actor playing a Cuban cop, no less. Didn’t producers see Mambo Kings?
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The story is also pretty far-fetched. And while that may work for Hiaasen’s novel, it didn’t translate to the silver screen. Moore (whose birth name was Demetria Gene Guynes, btw), loses her kid, works as a stripper, blackmails a congressman, almost gets killed, blah, blah, blah. It’s even more painful to watch than to read, kids.
Watch the insipid trailer:
Striptease is one of those films we rather would have not been filmed here, but unfortunately it was. Scenes were shot at the Miami Seaquarium and inside the strip club formally known as Solid Gold on 163 Street in North Miami, which now goes by Dean’s Gold.
The film lost money over here, but did better overseas, and believe it or not, the film won six awards. Unfortunately for filmmakers they were Razzies. Striptease came away with Worst Actress for Moore, as well as Worst Director and Worst Screenplay for Andrew Bergman (twofer!), Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Picture. The only person associated with that film that came out relatively unscathed is Armand Assante. Oh, and get this–we almost forgot–Striptease also won for Worst Original Song. The culprit? Marvin ‘Smokey’ Montgomery’s “Pussy, Pussy, Pussy (Whose Kitty Cat Are You?).” Really. Although the movie itself is boring, there are actually a few factoids worth mentioning: –With a $12 million paycheck, Moore became the highest paid actress at the time. –Michael Jordan makes a cameo appearance in the film as a patron at the strip club. –Ms. Demi had eight assistants on the film (which is a lot). –The film was edited at the last minute when test audiences laughed during the wrong scenes.
