Audio By Carbonatix
Something’s not a meme until it’s sold on Etsy, right? At least that’s how we judge it (see our Human Centipede and Charlie Sheen handmade roundups). So consider us proud parents as the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami are now immortalized on the indie goods site.
David Gilmore, the illustrator behind web site Pretty on the Outside, has created caricatures of these 305 reality TV mavens. He captured the ridiculousness of Lea Black, but his Elsa Patton portrait…well, looks like someone has an Elsa crush bigger than ours. The Cuban expat hasn’t looked as good as in his portrait since these before pictures.
Calling her a queen among commoners, he describes Elsa, “with all due
respect,” as “part yoda, part alf, part sock puppet, part divine.”
When news happens, Miami New Times is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If Miami New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Gilmore has been drawing reality TV stars (as well as the staff at
Gawker) ever since the days of Real Housewives of Orange County. As he
told us, “My partner’s parents live in Coto De Caza and I’ve met a lot
of people there and in OC County who tried portraying themselves as
‘classy’ because their homes were appreciating rapidly. New money
lunatics who think they’re superior or interesting or entitled fuel my
drawing interests.”
When he saw the Real Housewives of Miami, their odd faces
sang out to him from the glowing boob tube. Take Larsa, who he describes
as “to eyebrows what Teresa Guidice is to hairlines.”
Then there’s his Lea Black, which he prefaces with “Lea Black…. did
you really mean to wear that? If so, I just may be in love with you.”
Then there’s Marysol, or he calls her “trout-pout”:
Gilmore is your basic “artist for hire” in Southern California. He
paints murals and does illustrations, logos, and body paint. “I
love nothing more than hitting pause on my TiVo remote and doing a 5 to
30 minute drawing of one of these ladies. Sometimes I’ll get carried
away and spend a bit more time by coloring them in my computer,” he
says. “I’m boggled and intrigued by way anyone would want to be one
these shows. They usually come off fairly badly.”
a Canon i9900 printer) of the $30. Each is an open edition, which are signed and dated. Visit prettyontheoutside.typepad.com or his Etsy shop.
His 8.5 x 11 digital prints (hot pressed archival watercolor paper with
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami