Rome had some nutty rulers named Caesar back in its heyday. But none was nuttier than Caligula, also known as Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Caligula was a cruel tyrant who exhausted Rome’s treasury for his own personal gain, introduced himself to folks as a god (sometimes he was Hercules;…
Game 1 of the 2012 NBA Finals was a tale of two halves.The Miami Heat shot out of the gate strong, hitting shots, making threes and getting a huge game from *record scratch* Shane Battier!But the second half was a whole other bag of salted cock n’ balls as Kevin…
After blowing up the Boston Celtics Big Three Era (for the second straight season) in last night’s 101-88 Game 7 triumph, the Miami Heat are headed to their second-straight NBA Finals.The Big Three known as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh scored Miami’s final 31 points, including all 28…
Brilliant.Extraordinary.Artist.Devastator.Maestro.Cobradick…
Stage plays about the Cuban exile community and the uncertain search for freedom is nothing new in this town. In fact, it can be must-see theater when it’s done right. But Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Nilo Cruz’s A Bicycle Country, opening Friday at New Theatre at the Roxy Performing Arts Center…
Summer Shorts: Sex, Presidents, and More Sex
Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two…
The Miami Heat went into Boston over the weekend and promptly took a giant shit all over their season, as they allowed the Undead Celtics to fight their way back into the Eastern Conference Finals and knot things up at two games apiece. Games 3 and 4 were near mirror…
City Theatre sifts through hundreds of plays every year to find a handful of scripts that are just the right amount of fun and hilarity for Summer Shorts, their annual short play festival, which opened last night at the Arsht Center. The aim is to be Saturday Night Live with…
The Miami Heat aren’t going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in these Eastern…
The Miami Marlins were not shy about spending money to help build their new team for Ozzie Guillen. They gave Jose Reyes and Heath Bell fat contracts and were fairly aggressive in chasing Albert Pujols. Some critics say the Marlins’ front office was a bit reckless with those moves. Meanwhile,…
Summer Shorts: Funny Goes Arsht
The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for…
Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami’s 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the…
The Miami Marlins handed shortstop Jose Reyes a six-year, $106-million contract this past winter so he could leave the division rival Mets to play for the Fish in their new digs. It was an expensive gesture to bring Reyes on board, and one that risked alienating the Marlins’ very own…
A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings at the PlayGround Theatre Through May 25
LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because…
What’s better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its…
Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh’s abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night’s 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness…
Stories of adolescents discovering their sexuality are nothing new to stage or film. In fact, in 1892, German playwright Frank Wedekind wrote about that very topic, and his play was subsequently banned from Germany back in the day because of its honest take on homosexuality, abortion, and rape, and also…
Miami’s Syndee Winters in The Lion King at the Arsht Center May 17 Through June 10
Here’s a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points…
