Ten Years After Elian, Alex Penelas Is Back at County Hall

Ten years ago this past June 28, Elián González was returned to his father in Cuba, and Alex Penelas’s rising political star imploded. Miami-Dade’s then-county mayor dug his own grave in 2000. Sure he won a second term as mayor, but he double-crossed Al Gore during the presidential election and…

Thomas Cypress Pleads Guilty to DUI Manslaughter

The 55-year-old brother of former Miccosukee Indian Chairman Billy Cypress is pleading guilty to two counts of DUI manslaughter. On February 19 of last year, Thomas Cypress was behind the wheel of his truck on Tamiami Trail when he swerved into oncoming traffic and had a head-on collision with a…

Those Diaz de la Portilla Boys Are at It Again

Banana Republican has a sneaking suspicion that Jenny Nillo is a ringer in an important state Senate race. Nillo is a former legislative aide to state Sen. Alex Diaz de la Portilla, who can’t run again because of term limits. Since last year, Alex’s brother Miguel has been locked in…

They Might Be Tiny, But These Lucky Dogs Sure Made It Big

When we saw that the Wall Street Journal whipped up a stipple portrait of Conchita, the Ginger-wig-wearing Chihuahua that belonged to the late Miami socialite Gail Posner, Banana Republican got to thinking what a grand life these little bug-eyed rat-dogs lead. So we compiled a list of the five most…

Rakontur Wants to Declare 420 on Miami Beach

The makers of Cocaine Cowboys and The U are teaming up with a leading pro-marijuana activist to get Miami Beach Police to issue tickets to people caught with a small amount of marijuana in lieu of sending them to jail. During an interview at the documentary company’s new HQ off…

2010 World Cup’s Top Ten Rogue Nations

With the 2010 World Cup underway, Banana Republican is always scrambling for a ​bandwagon to jump on. Nicaragua’s pathetic soccer team has never qualified for tournament play. Based on an entirely subjective, purely unscientific method of rooting for the most scandalous, the most immoral, and the most corrupt republics, here are my…

UPDATE: Backyard Fights in Perrine Canceled

UPDATE:Earlier tonight, we received a text from Dhafir Harris that tomorrow’s backyard brawl is off. Government interference, apparently. Via text, Harris explains: “Do 2 The Rapid Growth of BkYrd Fights DADA ran n 2 legal issues wit the local Authority’s.”Kimbo Slice’s short lived career in the Ultimate Fighting Champhionship notwithstanding,…

Two Renegades in Skiffs Prowl the Bay

As waves slap the shoreline, littered with empty beer cans, Fane Lozman points to a pair of derelict sailboats anchored in the water near Pelican Harbor Marina on the 79th Street Causeway. The former Marine turned civic agitator fixes his gaze on a hairy man reading a book on the…

Hialeah Chusmeria Goes Digital

Ah, Hialeah, Hialeah. You truly are the city of progress. One of my new friends on Facebook is Hialeah Cares, an unknown identity in the vast cyberverse of anonymity who has riled up Mayor Julio Robaina’s most vociferous critics. The back and forth has been quite entertaining. The wall post…

El Pibe Stays True to Futbol and Colombia

Inside Grove Liquors on SW 32nd Avenue at South Dixie Highway, two leggy, long-haired brunettes in yellow Colombian national soccer team jerseys walk in front of a mound of curly blond hair that is universally familiar to the avid fútbol fan.Carlos “El Pibe” Valderrama signs autographs as the young ladies…

Miami-Dade Fire Chief Herminio Lorenzo Exposed By Inspector General

Joseph Mitrani was given the job of overseeing construction of a new training facility for the Miami-Dade Fire Rescue Department. Mitrani was instrumental in making sure the project was completed on time and under budget, according to department spokeswoman Elizabeth Calzadilla-Fiallo. Score one for government efficiency, right? Err, not really.Fire…

Alex Diaz de la Portilla Accused of Stalking Estranged Wife

Claudia Davant claims her estranged husband and state Sen. Alex Diax de la Portilla has repeatedly stalked her since she filed for divorce five months ago. And the Florida Department of Law Enforcement is investigating some of her complaints.Tallahassee Circuit Judge Dawn Caloca-Johnson granted Davant’s request for a temporary restraining…

Cuban Classical Ballet of Miami Does Don Quixote at The Fillmore

Cuban ballerina Lorena Feijoo returns to south Florida this weekend, joining Cuban National Ballet alum and former Miami City Ballet dancer Rolando Sarabia in Marius Petipa’s production of Don Quixote.The Cuban Classical Ballet of Miami is presenting the performance this Saturday and Sunday (8 p.m. and 5 p.m., respectively) at…