Booby Tube Trap Filed Under: News Steven McLLain was lugging a discarded Toshiba television across the Venetian Bridge on a breezy evening this past February 12, when Miami City Police NET Cmdr. William Alvarez stopped him. When Alvarez asked McLLain, a lanky 56-year-old homeless man, where he got the boob…

Payfront Park Filed Under: Culture First-run movies every night on a 60-foot-high screen in a beautiful grassy spot by the water? Excellent idea. Fencing off about 40,000 square feet of prime downtown Miami green space 24 hours a day, seven days a week? Maybe not so excellent. Since it set…

His Satanic Majesty’s Request Filed Under: Flotsam Sixty-year-old José Luis de Jesús Miranda has called himself the reincarnation of the apostle Paul; “the Other,” a spiritual super-being who would pave the way for Jesus Christ’s second coming; and, eventually, God’s son incarnate. “My purpose,” he explained to New Times last…

The Hilliard’s Alive … Filed under: News Gabrielle Nash Tessler is on a mission to rid North Bay Village of the devilish influence of the Conch Republic’s Beelzebub. For the past year, the 85-year-old activist has railed against her town’s agreement to pay a guy named Randy Hilliard $2000 per…

Miami-Dade Commissioner Natacha Seijas earns $52,499 a year as vice president of public policy and government/community relations for the YMCA of Greater Miami. That’s a handsome salary and a lengthy title for someone who doesn’t have to put in a 40-hour work week. In fact Seijas’s duties and responsibilities are…

The directions were easy enough. Head west on Tamiami Trail. Two miles past the Miccosukee Indian water tower, make a left onto Loop Road, the scenic 23-mile stretch in the southernmost portion of Big Cypress National Preserve where Miami-Dade, Collier, and Monroe counties converge. Continue west for another seven miles…

America, the Test Filed under: Flotsam The feds are going to pilot a new citizenship test (less history trivia, more focus on “fundamental concepts” and “basic values”) in ten cities, including Miami. How would the average American Joe perform as an aspiring citizen? A preliminary sidewalk quiz of a few…

Lincoln-Douglas It Wasn’t Filed under: News Some words of advice to Mayor Carlos Alvarez and his supporters: Don’t let state Sen. Gwen Margolis do any more debating for the strong mayor ballot proposal. On January 4, Margolis and county Commissioner Sally Heyman debated the potential increase in Alvarez’s powers, including…

Moldy Christmas Filed under: News Sweet baby Jesus would be so proud of the people running New Life Shelter for Homeless Families, which is operated by Catholic Charities, a nonprofit social service division of the Archdiocese of Miami. The fifteen-room facility in Wynwood provides downtrodden families with rooms for $200…

By Christmas, Miami-Dade County Commissioner Natacha Seijas’s reign could be over. A band of rebels threatens her imperial grip. Last month the anti-Seijas commandos set up a bunker in the heart of her Hialeah stronghold. From inside a warehouse near Okeechobee Road, they plot ways to convince voters to recall…

Shanty Talk Filed under: News One should always be wary when city officials declare they are “listening” to the people’s problems. Activist Max Rameau knew this on Wednesday, when Miami City Manager Pedro Hernandez journeyed out to Umoja, Rameau’s five-week-old shantytown for the homeless in Liberty City. “I’m here to…

Boom Goes Bust (Again) Filed under: News For sale: land, permits, and plans for Onyx 2, a failed 50-story, 125-unit condo project by the bay on NE 28th Street. For good measure, the owners will throw in the dilapidated sales center at no extra charge. Originally conceived to augment sister…

Risky Business Filed under: News When the corrections counselor tells what it’s like to walk past the cell blocks at the Miami-Dade County Stockade, she could almost be describing Clarice Starling’s walk down the corridor of a maximum-security prison in The Silence of the Lambs: “As a female, you get…

Former Miami City Manager Joe Arriola isn’t shy when it comes to his former top deputy, Linda Haskins. She used to keep a bottle of Grey Goose vodka stashed in her office desk, he proclaims. “I’d have someone drive her home because she would get so plastered,” he says. “And…

The City of Miami ranks first in the nation in terms of pedestrians run over by cars. About six of every 100,000 people are killed each year, according to the most recent report from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. That’s more than New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, or Phoenix…

Sticky Lingers Filed under: Flotsam Tired of dodging — or stepping in — those ubiquitous black lumps of desiccated chewing gum that pepper every urban landscape? A new invention out of Germany uses a high-pressure apparatus to vaporize the once-indelible clumps through steam and eco-friendly detergent. And there’s only one…

Douglas Road Goes Off the (Metro) Rails Filed under: Scanner In 2003 the Miami-Dade County Commission selected Miami banker and real estate developer Raul Masvidal to build on county-owned property near the Douglas Road Metrorail station. Masvidal and his partners, Pinnacle Housing and Royal Group Investments, promised a parking garage,…

The sun shone bright and hot just before noon on a perfect July 4 when 35-year-old Samuel Sax took off from Tamiami Airport in his 1946 Globe Swift. There wasn’t a dreary storm cloud in the sky. He made his way north in the nimble single-engine two-seater, cruising over Key…

Mining the Store Filed under: Flotsam Every once in a while, Riptide hears about an average blue-collar Miami-Dade citizen engaging in some inexplicably absurd, devious behavior. One example is the criminal case against Franklin Knowles and Larry Martinez, two gents who earn their keep by stopping shoplifters and identity thieves…

The Price of Victory Filed under: Scanner Let’s get this straight: Miami law firm Lydecker, Lee, Behar, Berga & De Zayas, where Mayor Manny Diaz moonlights as a freelance attorney, is not representing City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones pro bono. And there are no billing rate discounts for city commissioners, either…

Waterfront Access Is for Commies Filed under: Scanner When the Miami City Commission met this past week to discuss waterfront zoning, the exchanges went from surly to surreal. Fortunately Riptide was there to chronicle the, er, “conversation.” Pedro Martin’s lawyers and supporters came calling first, asking for a zoning change…

The fate of Miami’s brain center is on the line. At a special meeting September 7, city commissioners will decide whether to transform Miami Herald headquarters and surrounding property into three huge condos and a shopping mall. Along with the midtown Miami juggernaut, it’s perhaps the most extravagant development scheme…