Male Nurse Accused of Raping Patient at Kendall Hospital

Luis Alfonso Lucero, a nurse technician at Kendall Regional Medical Center, was arrested yesterday on charges that he raped an unconscious female patient. Lucero claims that the intercourse was consensual, even though the patient was under his care and was checked into the hospital for serious alcohol intoxication…

LeMieux: Now You’re Not The Charlie Crist That I Used to Know

Charlie Crist is getting awfully cozy to the Democratic party by endorsing Obama and planning to speak at their convention. It’s been awfully uncomfortable for George LeMieux. Crist employed LeMieux as his campaign manager and chief of staff, and then appointed him to the Senate.Now, LeMieux has spoken up in…

Cities With Worst Drivers: Hialeah Fourth, Miami Ninth

Sometimes Miami shows up on city rankings in spots that sort of irk us. Other times our rankings are pleasantly surprising. And occasionally we get ranked in a spot that makes us think, Yeah, that is totally accurate.So, we’re not exactly surprised that not one, but two Miami-Dade cities sit…

LeBron James Wants to Star in Space Jam 2

With his icon status its easy to forget that LeBron James was just a child in the ’90s, and like all millennials he recognize 1996 film Space Jam as the true cinematic masterpiece that it is. So obviously King James would love nothing better than to star in Space Jam…

Chad Johnson Could Face Up To a Year In Prison

Chad Johnson’s NFL career is all but over. His wife, Evelyn Lozada, has filed for divorce. His sponsors have dropped him. His reality TV series is canceled. The troubles keep coming, and now comes a report that Johnson could face up to a year in prison for assaulting his wife…

Victoria Jackson Is in Tampa Debating Super Heroes

Well, it wouldn’t be a crazy Republican sideshow without Miami’s own SNL-star-turned-Tea-Party-queen Victoria Jackson. Everyone’s favorite squeaky voiced conspiracy theorist is up in Tampa for the Republican National Convention with her video camera in hand. She’s already run into a super hero who fights political apathy. Even though Mr. Super…

Mitt Romney Polling Horribly Among Florida Women and Minorities

What stands between Mitt Romney and victory in Florida? Apparently women and minority voters. Barack Obama has hefty advantages in those two demographics according to the latest Time/CNN poll, which shouldn’t be too surprising considering his party has found itself embroiled in controversies in the past few years regarding women’s…

Connie Mack is Like Best Friends With Lynyrd Skynyrd

Marco Rubio loves Nicki Minaj. We’re just going to guess that World’s Greatest Elevator Music Vol. 1 is Bill Nelson’s favorite album of all time. But what does Republican Senate candidate Connie Mack IV listen to? Confederate flag-embracing rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd, of course…

305 Photo of the Day: Floating

Today’s photo comes from Jaiphoneography’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…

Florida Teen Accidentally Shot Himself In the Crotch

A Florida teenager is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the dick. Obviously, all of Florida is hoping and praying that this genius will recover and one day be able to procreate.The incident happened early Thursday morning in Port St. Lucie. Police arrived at the local hospital to check out…

Dear Dems, Please Do Not Run Charlie Crist for Governor

Dear Democratic Party of Florida,Rumors have been swirling that Charlie Crist would be joining your party ever since he got his ass handed to him Tea-Party style in the 2010 Senate race. Now there’s very specific gossip going around that he’ll announce his official membership in your party in a…