See also “Four Miami Pimps Arrested For Luring Foster Care Children Into Prostitution.”Though no formal charges had yet been filed against Florida Department of Children and Families worker Daniel LaCroix, the 46-year-old man was arrested on Saturday for trying to flee the country after his name came up in another…
See also “Obamacare Is American As Apple Pie and Free Speech” and “Obamacare Ruled Constitutional by Supreme Court; Sorry, Pam Bondi.”This is nothing even close to Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) erupting into shrieks of joy upon learning of false reports that the individual mandate of the Affordable Care Act was…
An 11-year-old girl visiting from New York died on Wednesday in Orlando after being electrocuted while trying to fetch a ball from a pond at a resort’s putt-putt golf course.Ashton Jojo was visiting Orange Lake Resort, just a few miles west of the Disney World parks, with her family from…
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Miami Beach has had it with this mother fucking snake in this mother fucking post office.Yes, a snake crawling around light fixtures has caused the retail area of a Miami Beach post office to remain closed since yesterday…
In a perfect world, the Team USA Olympics basketball squad would have just been some super version of the Miami Heat. In reality, this year LeBron James will be the only Heat member to travel to London. A day after Dwyane Wade announced he’d forgo the games to get surgery,…
Super Bowl champs go to Disney World, but apparently NBA Champs go to Taco Bell.Chris Bosh was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and admitted that his first stop after winning his first ring was the drive through of the Taco Bell. He did however end up at LIV with…
If you’re neighbor yells at you, “When I get done taking a shit, I’m going to kick your fucking ass,” maybe it’s time to find a new neighborhood.Of course, this started in a Florida neighborhood, and the argument started when one man took exception to the other calling his own…
While the Miami Heat paraded down Biscayne Boulevard on Monday, hoisting their trophy from the top of double-decker buses, all Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen could do was watch. He’d been there before. Once as a member of the coaching staff of the 2003 Marlins, and again as the manager of…
In bad news for the USA Basketball team (but sort of good news for next season’s Miami Heat), Dwyane Wade has announced that he’ll be undergoing knee surgery this summer and will not be traveling with the team to the London Olympics…
Though final toxicology results on Rudy Eugene’s blood turned up only traces of marijuana, experts say there’s no way pot could have caused him to eat a man’s face. Instead, some suggest he might have been under the influence of a bath-salts-like substance that laboratories are not yet equipped to…
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During the NBA finals, local porn stars Angelina Castro and Sara Jay made a bet with two of their Oklahoma City counterparts: If their team won, they’d give the team’s fans free blowjobs. Now, Castro and Jay are making plans to keep their word. Yes, a free blowjob for anyone…
Kimberly McCarthy, an 18-year-old Tampa woman, racked up three DUIs in an 18-day span this spring, which seems like a mixture of serious problems, serious stupidity, and serious bad luck (who knows how many times she was driving under the influence and didn’t get caught?). But the teen won’t be…
You got a brand new BMW. You’re feeling fly. You parked it on Miami Beach to go have dinner at Juvia. One thing leads to another and wind up at Mansion until 3 in the morning. You finally get back to your car, and whats this? Oh no, your headlights…
Turns out Rudy Eugene, the “Miami Zombie,” was probably not under the influence of bath salts after all. It had been previously reported that Eugene had marijuana in his system, and after further tests, that’s all the medical examiners found…
“It would be incomplete if I did not congratulate the City of Miami for having the world champion Miami Heats here in town,” President Obama said last night at his event with Marc Anthony at the Fillmore Miami Beach.Yes, Miami “Heats.”Rush Limbaugh, obviously, is really, really pissed about this…
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Former Miami police chief Miguel Exposito will remain the former police chief. After being fired by the city commission in September 2011, Exposito had his lawyers file a suit claiming the commission had no basis for firing him and that the termination was strictly political.A panel of Miami-Dade judges today…
Hope you weren’t expecting a package.A UPS driver today lost control of his truck, which hit a tree and then ended up plunging into Biscayne Bay. The demolished vehicle now sits submerged in water…
LeBron James came out to one of his first standing ovations outside Miami last night in a long time on The Late Show with David Letterman, and in New York City of all places. Guess that ring really did do wonders for his image. Of course, once everyone sat down,…
It seems that Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen went all fan girl when drafting up a Congressional resolution to congratulate the Miami Heat on their NBA championship, because the thing is actually the rare Congressional measure that’s a pleasure to read. It’s basically a manifesto on why the Heat are just so…
