Jared Cano, 17, Arrested in Plot to Blow Up His Tampa High School

Jared Cano, 17, has been arrested after law enforcement officials uncovered a plot to blow up his Tampa high school. Tampa Police Chief Janet Castor said the alleged plan could have been “a potential catastrophic event the likes of which this city has never seen.”Cano might have been trying to outdo the…

Homestead Man Stabs 12-Year-Old After Argument

We’re not sure what kind of grown man gets into a heated public argument with a random 12-year-old boy. We’re certainly not sure what kind of man then decides it’s a good idea to end the argument by pulling out a knife and stabbing the child. All we know is…

Al Golden Feels Duped by University of Miami

When Al Golden was plucked from college football obscurity as head coach of the Temple Owls to take over the Miami Hurricanes, a storied program that needed just a bit of fine tuning to be competitive again, it seemed like — pardon the pun — a Golden opportunity. Now, if…

Strap-On Dildo Beatdown Leads to Florida Woman’s Arrest

If lesbians can’t even keep it classy in Florida, there really is no hope for our state’s weird-news reputation.Jantavia Taylor was arrested for felony domestic assault after allegedly trying to beat up her live-in girlfriend with a strap-on dildo. No, we don’t mean “beat up” in any sort of slang…

Allen West Considers Senate Run

Though guys like George LeMieux and Adam Hasner have  for months been running for the GOP nomination to take on Senator Bill Nelson, no one has made much headway with voters. That leaves the field wide open for a potential late entrant. Rep. Adam West, Florida’s most Tea-soaked new congressman, might be…

Five Teacup Puppies Stolen from Bird Road Pet Store

Five teacup puppies, valued at a total of $4,100 and countless immeasurable units of adorableness, were snatched from the Puppy Dream pet store on Bird Road this weekend. The store’s cameras caught an unidentified woman committing the unspeakable crime of grand theft cute…

305 Photo of the Day: Liberace in Downtown

Today’s photo, of the Rock of Ages makeover of Downtown, is from Keylargo_diver’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…

Watch All 17 Seconds of Kimbo Slice’s Professional Boxing Debut

After disappointing attempts at mixed martial arts and professional wrestling, Miami’s back-yard brawling sensation Kimbo Slice might have finally found his professional punch-throwing niche: boxing. Sure, the competition was considerably low-level, but over the weekend Slice made his boxing debut and knocked his opponent out in 17 seconds flat. Watch…

Vending Machines Replacing Lunch Ladies in Miami-Dade Schools

The machines are taking over the cafeteria. Starting this fall, some Miami-Dade students will be getting their school lunch from a vending machine and not Berta, the hairnet-clad lunch lady. Rest assured though, Junior won’t be eating just corn chips and soda pop. The high tech machines serve healthy options…

Fidel Castro’s Birthday Present: A Big Transsexual Wedding

Fidel Castro turned 85 this past Saturday, and the celebrations were mostly typical. Supporters held a giant concert featuring dozens of musical acts, but Castro himself spent the day in seclusion, which prompted rumors he might have been too feeble for a public appearance. Miami exiles, meanwhile, marked his birthday…

Chad Henne Is the Worst-Ranked Starting QB in the NFL

Lest you think Miami Dolphins fans were being overdramatic in their disappointment that the team couldn’t get a starting quarterback better than Chad Henne, we now have cold, hard rankings to back our whining. USA Today ranked all 32 teams’ starting quarterbacks, and Henne came in 31st out of 32…