In office spaces across the city, workers make the 9-to-5 grind more bearable by promising themselves an after-work happy hour filled with fried cheese sticks and dollar beers. And even if your boss allows you to stash Michelob Light and Cheetos in your cubicle, there’s a reprieve for you lucky…
In American culture, we reach for Hot Pockets, Totino’s Pizza Rolls, or McDonald’s apple pies when we want to satiate our cravings for handheld filled goodies. But when our neighbors to the east get that urge, they grab fried and steamed packages of joy called dim sum. These ain’t your…
Miami Spice Restaurant Month is a time when frugal foodies get to dine at restaurants such as Ortanique on the Mile and Table 8 for prices that rival T.G.I.Friday’s and Chili’s. But if you’re like us, after paying for parking and filling up the ol’ gas tank, you still couldn’t…
Dating is like a box of chocolates: You might pick out psycho mama’s boy on Tuesday, ’roided-up dude on Friday, and closet pedophile McDreamy on Sunday. But if you decide to go the opposite route, force him down onto one knee and get a marriage proposal out of him. Then…
We are a culture of imbibers, and whether we’re celebrating a life, a death, or a pink slip, you can bet there’s a bottle of hooch in the vicinity. During happy hour, you can usually also find hot wings and disgruntled workers, but two hot spots are turning that stereotype…
Hey fellas. A pick up line can cause a chick to giggle, hand over her number, or give you a hearty “Fuck off.” Sometimes, words aren’t even necessary. Here’s what I think are the appropriate physical responses to two corny lines. Ladies, take note. He says: Why don’t you come…
This is what happens when: Dick meets girl. Girl is wasted, so she gives Dick her number. Dick calls girl and invites himself to her house, threatens her with a good time, etc. Girl doesn’t like his aggro ass so she decides to never answer his call again. Dick calls…
The engineers of our you-can-do-it culture would like you to think that being a DJ takes nothing more than an iPod and a killer playlist. While those things might work in that basement nightclub down the street, try bringing that foolishness to Mansion on a Friday night and see how…
A few times a year, we take a break from being critical and judgmental about the scene and throw our own events into Miami’s entertainment atmosphere. We know booze can’t lose, so Beerfest scores major points. But how do you feel about us getting Unzipped? If we strip away all…
The typical image of a belly dancer is a woman with a sly smile and come-hither hips draped in flowy fabric, but there are dudes out there who get down in the traditional Middle Eastern dance. Yeah, a vision of those Macarena men just popped into our heads too. But…
On Earth, people put off, postpone, and procrastinate when it comes to exercising, but on Mars, little green men have trouble coming up with reasons not to get their sweat on for at least an hour a day. Their slimy, globular eyes bug out a little more when someone suggests…
Hello, Kitty: I’m 26 years old and I came out of the closet last year, ready to be myself by any means necessary. For the past 10 years or so, I’ve hidden my sexuality by having relationships with females, but never having sex with them — I couldn’t take the…
This afternoon’s Be Out Day sponsored by Rick Ross Charities, Inc. was supposed to be about positivity, voter registration, and helping the kidz – apparently some fools didn’t get the memo. At around 4:24 p.m. fights and gunfire broke out at Carol City Park. FloRida was performing Rick Ross, City…
This past Saturday at Bayfront Park there was plenty of hip-hop in the air, but there was also plenty of playa-playa bullshit too. In between sips of my cocktail, I overheard this lovely exchange: Him: I just want one date, you won’t even give me that. Her: Aren’t you married?…
Hello, Kitty In my 20s I was really picky about the guys I dated, they couldn’t be below a certain height, had to love R&B, etcetera etcetera. But now that I’m nearing that 40-year mark, I’m much easier to please. And now after a long search and a lot of…
We love the new millennium, but we miss the Nineties one-dollar gas prices, gaudy fashions, and — most of all — TGIF. The sitcoms that made up ABC’s all-important block of funny changed from time to time, but Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper shone bright for a few years, drawing viewers…
Ladies and gentlemen, grab your neck braces: The 2008 American Tennis Association (ATA) Nationals are about to be in full swing. So yes, that means you will be sitting in the stands trying to keep your eyes on a fuzzy neon green ball flying back and forth across a three-foot-high…
You may have shaken your groove thang in every club across the 305, but you haven’t lived until you’ve sashayed across a dimly lit dance floor, flirting with your eyes while executing some serious salsa moves with your hips. Whether a lack of rhythm or a lack of partner has…
You like to eat muffin tops and cottage cheese, but you don’t want to look like you have them attached to your waist and thighs. Plus, we need you, loyal reader! If you keel over from clogged arteries, high cholesterol, or plain ol’ laziness, who will read our shit? We’re…
Hello, Kitty How do I coax my wife back into wearing some sexy lingerie? She used to wow me every time she undressed, but ever since we (she) had our daughter all I see is granny panties, and even worse, sometimes my boxers. I thought it was a phase that…
If I decided to steal a Miami-Dade transit bus, I would hit 95 south and gun it straight to the Keys. The authorities would find me and the bus 6 months later, me driving the bus with one foot (because my hands would be full of the lobsters I just…
When James Posey left the Miami Heat, sports fans and groupies alike cried over the loss of one of our most talented and fiiine players. But when he ended up winning another ring with the Celtics, people were like, “Damn, I’d jump from the Titanic to a Carnival cruise liner…
