Cocaine Will Eat the Flesh Off Your Face

That cocaine you’re planning to enjoy this weekend — because really, how else can you appreciate those amazing beats blasting on Lincoln Road — might contain more than coca. Actually, a new study says if you’re snorting it in Miami, it’s probably chock full of a compound that will eat the…

Nevin Shapiro: Who Is This Ponzi Dirtbag Exploding Canes Football?

​So Yahoo! Sports dropped an ass-seeking clusterbomb all over the University of Miami last night with a mammoth exposé about Nevin Shapiro’s (alleged) hooker-buying, yacht-lending, abortion-funding services for Hurricanes athletes. The story doesn’t spend much space on a basic question, though: Who in hell is this gelled-hair clown burying Miami’s premier…

Santeria Will Get You Cash Money (Video)

Julio Cesar Garcia had a problem last week. He was sick of his job at Miami International Airport, and he was ready for a promotion. Sadly, his bosses weren’t quite so interested in bumping him up the food chain.So Garcia did what any good Santeria true believer would do –…

Logan Morrison And His Twitter Demoted As LoMo Rips Marlins For Move

​The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night’s loss to the Giants because his batting average dipped below .250 — an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped ghost-write the…

Oh Sh*t! Florida’s Five Most Notorious Poopcrimes

Yesterday, jollily bearded fellow Edmund Barksdale set the AP’s Poop Alert Newswire® ablaze with his bizarre tale of getting Tasered while taking a dump in a Destin park. Yet he’s far from the first fecal-matter felon to snag Florida headlines.If George Orwell put thoughtcrime on the map, the Sunshine State…

Body Washes Up on Miami Beach, Police Investigating Possible Suicide

An early-morning beachgoer called Miami Beach Police shortly before 7 a.m. today to report a disturbing find: a body lying near the sea around 68th Street.The dead man had a gunshot wound to the head, Det. Juan Sanchez, a Miami Beach spokesman, tells Riptide. “Early indications are that it’s self-inflicted,”…

Four Wounded in Late-Night Shootout Outside Downtown Club 90 Degree

Club 90 Degree first etched out a niche downtown as the Latin dance spot for the non-Calle Ocho crowd, with reggaeton, salsa, and merengue nights; lately, they’ve added hip-hop nights and had Power 96 broadcasting live from the floor on Saturdays.Last night, police say, at least two gunmen opened fire outside…