Still nursing your Real Housewives season premiere hangover? Just be happy we’ve made it to this point. Hell, we didn’t think season one would make it past three episodes. Since that first fateful season, we have seen some ladies come (Lisa Hochstein and Joanna Krupa) and some go (Cristy Rice,…
Adriana de Moura, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, and Alexia Echevarria. Did we ever think we would feel genuine concern about these five ladies’ lives? Of course not. But we’ve gotta make a full-blown confession: we love the Real Housewives of Miami, and we aren’t ashamed. Our ladies have…
Cash Dome pawnshop on US1 and Caribbean Boulevard is about to show America all about tattoos, guns, gold teeth, and how to make a buck. For the past 25 years, shop founder Mickey Gallander has wheeled and dealed Miami through one of the oldest and toughest businesses in the world…
Just imagine it: all the people you love to make fun of all in one room. And it doesn’t stop there — you’re also surrounded by their trainwreck friends, families. and house cleaning staff. Welcome to the Real Housewives of Miami premiere! See also: – The Real Housewives of Miami…
Expensive, ornate real estate is a lot like expensive, ornate fashion: not just anybody can pull it off. So it’s going to take a real diva to purchase the Versace Mansion, which recently went on the auction block after its owner filed for bankruptcy. And hey, if that diva comes…
It’s summer, it’s hot, and if you live in Miami, your body is probably physically rejecting clothing. But before you head outside in your tiniest shorts or crop tops, you’re going to want to feel comfortable showing that much skin. And yes, that can mean exercise. In this land of…
Life’s been a series of highs and lows for Karent Sierra in the past year. Her appearance on season two of The Real Housewives of Miami led to a bump in fame, with new gigs visiting TV shows like The Doctors. But Sierra left the show before season three began…
You can complain about Miami for a myriad of reasons, but you can’t say our locals suffer from a lack of personality. To outsiders, Miamians can be “too loud,” “too Cuban,” “too rude,” or any combination thereof — but locals know we’re just a bunch of amusing, quirky, and audacious…
Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Have a question for Nikki? Email it to cultist@miaminewtimes.com. John Verrochi has experienced hundreds of first dates, No, he’s not the Don Juan of the South. But close: he’s a mixologist at the Shore Club…
If behind every great man is a great woman, then behind every great woman is a great bumbum. It stands to reason, then, that the women with the greatest bumbums in the world would also be the greatest women in the world. Friends, we have witnessed these bumbums and can…
Many women have an acceptable set of buttocks. Some have one seemingly perfect buttock that is paired with a deflated, swaying cheek, or worse, one with a single, twisted antler growing from it. Not Miss Bumbum. Her bumbum is perfect. And unmarried. Miss Bumbum is also the winner of a…
Mario Lavandeira, better known as gossip blogger Perez Hilton, doesn’t make it back to his hometown of Miami that often, but when he does, he tries to make it interesting. This time around, he’ll be hosting the Ultimate Drag Queen competition at the Magic City Casino tomorrow night. “I’m the…
Last year, Miami’s own Tatu Baby (AKA Katherine Flores) stole viewers’ hearts (and other extremities) during her turn on Spike TV’s Ink Master. With a sexy, pin-up style and impressive skill with the needle, people were all abuzz about this local girl. In fact, despite elimination, she earned an unprecedented…
A comic book series about vampires. Zach Braff’s new movie. A new digital projector for an indie movie theater. Cat Girl porn. One of those things is not like the others. The comic, movie, and projector are all projects you might find at the popular crowdfunding website Kickstarter. If you’re…
As Sgt. Slaughter climbed into the ring to face the Iron Sheik in a professional wrestling match in 1984, there were at least two American presidents watching. “When I met Presidents Reagan and Nixon later on,” Slaughter tells Cultist, “both said they had seen it and had stood up and…
The sun never used to set on the British Empire, but have you seen those people lately? Golem from Lord of the Rings looks like James Brown compared to the rest of his countrymen. Yesterday, we celebrated taking those snooty jerks down a peg in 1776 by recreating our battles…
In the skies over America tonight, we will celebrate our independence from good Indian food and universal healthcare by exploding fireworks o’er our ramparts. All well and good, but nothing really competes with the old fashioned razzle dazzle of jazz hands. Fortunately, George Takei has got you covered. In the…
Some Fourth of July trivia for you. Everyone knows that the 13 stripes on the American flag represent the original 13 colonies. But what about the 50 stars? Most people assume it’s the 50 states but hey, geniuses: there weren’t 50 states yet when we invented flags in 1776. The…
Each week, Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Have a question for Nikki? Email it to cultist@miaminewtimes.com. If you’ve been in Miami long enough, you’ve undoubtedly experienced the phenomenon of summer flings. The same way Northerners seem to couple during the…
This week we celebrate America’s independence. And while we can’t offer you an interview with George Washington, we can offer something much better: George Takei. After all, by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Takei was the captain of his own spaceship. The best Washington ever managed was a glorified…
This Saturday the skies opened up and let loose a torrent of gray water over Downtown. Despite the momentary monsoon, the slightly waterlogged lot on the corner of 11th and North Miami Avenue was abuzz with music and good vibes. People were celebrating and feeling good, rains be damned. The…
When it comes to social media, celebrities tend to fall into one of several categories. You have your wacky comedy types like George Takei, posting funny pictures. You have your obsessively perfect celebs (ahem, Beyonce) whose every Instagram photo is expertly framed and filtered. And then you have the oversharers…
