If you’re a fan of the 2003 Will Ferrell movie Elf, you know that there’s only one appropriate reaction to the news that the stage version of that film, Elf the Musical, is coming to the Arsht Center this month: “SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA’S COMING! I KNOW HIM!” Yes,…
There are so many reasons to be thankful you live in Miami: the weather (well, usually), the killer food, the damn-near naked people strolling down the beach. And, of course, the thriving cultural scene that grows and evolves with each new day. If you’re reading this blog, you’re likely a…
Whether he’s sliding around shirtless in motor oil, taking down 20 bad guys with a fire hose, or rolling down a car windshield with a dude’s head — you can count on Jason Statham to be kicking ass in each and every one of his adrenaline-fueled flicks. He’s the ultimate…
This one goes out to all the Miami haters. You know who you are. You’re that guy who won’t shut up about how there’s “no culture” in the 305. You’re the one who dreams of moving to New York or Los Angeles so you can finally spend some time in…
Lillie Nicole McCloud, 54, always dreamed of being a singer. Since she was 5 years old she was singing and dancing around her house inspired by her mother’s soulful voice. Originally from Rochester, NY, McCloud has since been an Orlando resident, and her latest mission is vying for her dream…
Until recently, if you were a woman who wanted to watch studly dudes tear away their pants and stick their junk in your face, you had to either talk your way into Swingin’ Richards (R.I.P.) or watch Magic Mike for, like, the 81st time. But get ready, ladies of Miami,…
Miami residents love riding their bikes. But, unfortunately, there are even more Miami residents who love driving their cars abysmally. The amount of traffic accidents regarding motor vehicles and cyclists is enough to make your head spin. And with Critical Mass happening every month, bike safety couldn’t be more crucial…
Monday evening, Bravo brought us the glory that is the Real Housewives of Miami reunion. Thought part one was a hot mess? Then you probably weren’t ready for number dos. Once again, here are ten moments we truly loved. See also: Real Housewives of Miami Reunion, Part One: Ten Essential…
Father begged you not to choose art as a career. He was a hard man who valued simple, tangible pleasures, and he couldn’t understand how art could be a valid career for anyone at all. “Why don’t you do something constructive with your life, kid?” he’d ask whenever you brought…
Well, ladies and gents, we made it to the almighty reunion of Real Housewives of Miami. It’s the episode we look forward to each season, and our ladies didn’t disappoint… for once. So just in case you missed what Andy Cohen called “the best reunion he has ever been to,”…
In less than a month, Miami will explode with the annual arts extravaganza that is Art Basel. But that’s not the only reason to up your cultural game before the new year. New Times’ annual MasterMind Awards are returning as well, offering grants and exposure to creatives all across the…
Well, ladies and gents, we have made it to the season finale of Real Housewives of Miami, season three. And you know what that means? We haven’t been canceled… yet. Last night, we didn’t just get the final episode; Bravo gave us a back-to-back RHOM event, with Joanna’s bachelorette extravaganza…
Did you guys know that there is another wedding on Real Housewives of Miami coming this season? Of course you did, because that is nearly the only thing these women ever discuss on each and every episode. Two weeks ago, we got to see Adriana’s 12-hour wedding affair take place…
Dear residents of Hialeah, This morning, we’d like to call your attention to some very important news that will directly affect your daily life. And, in particular, your sexytimes. Bang With Friends, the app you Hialeahans use more than people anywhere else in the state of Florida, is no longer…
Now’s your chance to get in bed with Flo Rida. That’s right. The rapper, sometimes actor, and Kate Upton spanking specialist is making yet another Miami appearance next month. And because it’ll be at Coconut Grove’s annual Great Grove Bed Race, there’s a good chance you’ll catch him between the…
If you took note of a young Dwayne Johnson, playing football for the University of Miami back in the ’90s, you probably didn’t imagine he’d go on to become one of the most valuable assets a high-profile movie could hope to cast. Hell, even during the glory days of The…
It’s true what they say: all ladies dream of their wedding day. The white dress, friends and family, B12 shots in the ass, multiple outfit changes, running two hours late. Oh wait — that’s Adriana de Moura’s wedding day. Sorry, we are getting ahead of ourselves. See also: Real Housewives…
Eros. Narcissus. Psyche. Midas. The myths of Ovid live on in our everyday language, centuries after the Roman poet first composed them. And this weekend at the Arsht Center, they’re living on the stage, too. Metamorphoses, playwright Mary Zimmerman’s series of vignettes inspired by the works of Ovid, opens tomorrow…
In recent weeks, we have examined the diverse dating scene in the Magic City. First, we ran down the ten Miami guys you local ladies have dated. Then we gave Miami girls the same treatment. Soon after, our gay readers began asking, “What about us?” Don’t worry — we weren’t…
Technology has done wonders for our modern lives: the iPad, Skype, sexting. But if there’s one major drawback to our brave new world of interconnectedness, it’s this: that awkward moment when middle-aged folks fight over Twitter. They usually say something along the lines of “twat” instead of “tweet.” And nobody…
Can you conquer the G-String Crawl? Dare you enter the Dominatrix Dungeon? Will you slide into the Honey Tunnel or tackle the Blue Balls Dash? Don’t worry — you didn’t fall asleep in front of the phone sex infomercials again. These are just a few of the sex-themed obstacles for…
Here in Miami, fitness is a way of life. And it’s not just because bikini season never ends (though that is one hell of a motivating factor). The Magic City crowd is made up of a unique mix of vain party people and neo-hippie health nuts. And the one thing…
