Bill Orcutt at Sweat Records December 28

Back when a president called Clinton ruled the White House, a band called Harry Pussy lorded over Miami’s tiny noise rock scene. The explosively experimental unit first emerged in 1992 when guitarist Bill Orcutt and drummer Adris Hoyos decided to cause general musical mayhem for no real reason besides their…

BFGF at the Electric Pickle December 23

Ever loved your sugar pie honey bunny pookie bear soooo much that your relationship already felt like beautiful music? We guess that’s what local musicians Me She and Chris V were feeling when they decided to express it in song. The enamored couple (look, they even have similar haircuts!) formed…

Lanzallamas Monofonica at Van Dyke Cafe December 24

Making up words is fun, but it rarely yields any expression worth keeping (unless you count Peter Griffin’s festizio). The band name Lanzallamas Monofonica is an exception. It isn’t entirely fabricated: If you speak Spanish, you know lanzallamas to mean flamethrower. Meanwhile, monofónica refers to single-channel recording. Though the band…

The Gutter Queens at Monterey Club December 25

Intergalactic surf rock act The Gutter Queens is ensuring that every willing participant can have a very retro and ribald Christmas this year at the Monterey Club. Led by guitarist-vocalist Ryan Black, the Coconut Creek natives (currently students at USF in Tampa) do a mean rendition of Dick Dale’s “Misirlou”…

Art Department’s Jonny White Talks Debut Albums and World Domination

For awhile now, Toronto DJ-producers Jonny White and Kenny Glasgow have been established scene veterans. But nothing could have prepared them (or the world) for the tsunami wave of their 2010 debut release as Art Department, “Without You.” A monstrous bass-driven banger oozing with raw sex and haunting Quaalude-hazed vocals, it dominated…

Swedish House Mafia Throws Masquerade Motel Party Opposite Ultra Fest UPDATE

​What’s next on Swedish House Mafia’s to-do list? Total global takeover? Almost. This evening, word has arrived that Mafia members Sebastian Ingrosso, Steve Angello, and Axwell will challenge Ultra Music Festival’s exclusive claim to the last weekend of March by throwing one of their Masquerade Motel parties on Saturday, March…

Bieber Fever! The Dangerous Breakout of an Androgynous Boy Wonder

You can joke about Justin Bieber’s lesbianism all day. But the Biebz reigns supreme. Powered by asexual androgyny and cotton-candy songcraft, he has brainwashed tween girls, their mothers, and even, in the most extreme cases, their fathers. You could be next. Seriously, if JB didn’t look (and sound) like an…

Top Ten Christmas Gifts for the Broke-Ass Musician

Is there a broke-ass musician in your life? Well, if not, just look to your left and you’ll find a guy named Danny in a band called Dirty Cherry who can’t even afford a simple bar of soap. Now look to your right and meet Jake, a bass player with…

Colombian Pop Star Marre Rocks New Times Editorial Suite

Shortly after moving into our swanky new offices at 4500 Biscayne, Crossfade saw the potential for a concert series. The premise was simple: Musicians come into our editorial suite and perform on a plush white couch overlooking the Ivax building’s parking garage. We film the performance, post the vid on…

Candyland 15 at Mekka December 17

If you’ve never made the trip, there’s only one way to enter Candyland: Get a group of festively costumed friends together, drop a tab and a little gamma-hydroxybutyrate, spin some drum ‘n’ bass (or maybe dubstep, if you’re under 21), and then dial up the nostalgic ’90s quotient. Soon a…

Far East Movement at Passion Nightclub December 17

As opposed to rap-phobic product pushers like Hennessy, Gulfstream Aerospace Corporation is totally stoked that peeps be name-droppin’ its shit. In October, company spokesman Jeff Miller told Fortune that his employer was “thrilled” to hear Far East Movement’s “Like a G6” referencing the G-650 aircraft, even amid lines about sucking…

Pitbull at Bongo’s Cuban Cafe December 17

Can you believe there was a time when Pitbull (AKA Don Armando Christian Pérez) couldn’t even get his party jams played on Power 96 (WPOW-FM 96.5)? Back in the day, OG supporter and booty-bass legend Luther Campbell asked the radio station’s jocks to slip some of Pit’s early records into…

Joan Jett at Magic City Casino December 18

Virginia Woolf once said, “All women together ought to let flowers fall upon the grave of Aphra Behn… for it was she who earned them the right to speak their minds.” Had Woolf been a teen with a ‘zine in the late ’70s or early ’80s, she might have said…