Somewhere in Biscayne Bay there is a pod of manatees laughing their fat, mossy asses off.Aristides Lorenzo Rodriguez, 43, was sentenced to a year of probation yesterday for repeatedly violating speed limits in a manatee zone. Clearly, a federal judge Jonathan Goodman is trying to scare Rodriguez into giving a…
We’re just weeks away from the start of South Florida’s wet season. Which, not to bum everyone out, means it’s almost time for our daily mid-afternoon rain showers. Meteorologists predict that this summer could see even more rainfall than average this year. In terms of water levels and such, that’s…
Between the front-page Miami Herald story, the endless meteorologists on the morning news and the Facebook and Twitter-choking freakout by basically everyone you know, you’d think hurricane season had officially arrived. Not quite. But it is going to rain for FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS in Miami.It’s the rainpocalypse! Will you and…
Congratulations! You survived Emily, Irene, Rina, and all those other storms that threatened to come near us, yet never did. Yes, we’ve endured another hurricane season, and we won’t even have to think about any possible category fives until next June. …
Yesterday it seemed that Rina was poised to reach category three strength winds with an eventual turn near South Florida. Today, Rina has dissipated back to tropical storm status and is now projected come no where near us. Jeez, Rina, what a loser…
Slowly moving but quickly strengthening Hurricane Rina is expected to become a Category 3 storm sometime within the next 24 hours as it trudges toward Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula. However, the five-day projections have the storm taking a hard right turn later this week, and Miami is now within its possible…
Quickly developing Hurricane Rina has now achieved Category 2-strength winds less than a day after becoming a hurricane, and there’s no sign she’s about to slow down. Forecasters now expect the storm to make a hard right turn, with the Florida Keys in its possible path…
In a murky, garbage-strewn canal next to a dilapidated apartment complex, a mossy-colored beast breaks the water’s surface. The manatee looks as out of place in this hood as a three-piece-suit-clad banker chillin’ at Churchill’s.Kit Curtin, a veteran biologist with the U.S. Geological Survey, says it ain’t easy being a…
Rina has now officially reached hurricane-strength winds. The storm is currently trudging slowly off of the coast Honduras in the Caribbean Sea, with Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula. It’s way too early to predict with any certainty its ultimate path, but the storm is expected to strengthen over the next few days…
“We are the most vulnerable metropolitan area in the world when it comes to sea level rise,” says University of Miami professor Harold Wanless. Sitting in his office, the avuncular geologist paints a bleak picture. Global warming is a fact, and the results are already visible: hurricanes are getting stronger,…
A tropical storm moving to the northwest in the Atlantic Ocean could send more big wind up North.Now only an unorganized mess packing 65 mph winds, Tropical Storm Katia is expected to increase to a Category 2 hurricane in the next five days and to head northwest toward North Carolina or…
Thirty-eight kids at a Catholic school in Cocoa Beach appear to be the biggest Florida victims of Hurricane Irene. Strong winds caused by Irene swept through the sleepy beach town yesterday, knocking over a hive of possibly “Africanized” bees, who then attacked the schoolchildren…
Dude, for a city that has weathered so much in the past decade — from 9/11 to blackouts, serial killers to the Knicks (the Knicks, for God’s sake!) — New York is acting wimpier these days than LeBron James atop a diving platform.First, there was that itsy, bitsy earthquake Tuesday, equivalent…
Fresh after being hit by and spending most of the rest of the day tweeting about a minor earthquake, the northeastern portion of our fine country might have to deal with a serious natural disaster. Hurricane Irene has shifted away from Florida and now has North Carolina and the northern coast in…
Every year, the TV people with the perfect hair stand in front of big, swirling storm maps and tell us, in so many words, Holy fucking shit the big one is here. It’s how we prepare — or not — for an impending storm that defines us as South Floridians…
Good news: South Florida. NOAA keeps moving the “cone of possibility” away from the area (though we aren’t safe yet). Bad news: Irene keeps gaining strength.Last night, the storm strengthened to 100 MPH winds, making it a Category 2 ‘cane. Irene is currently north of the Dominican Republic, with the…
The low pressure trough formerly known as Tropical Storm Emily fizzled after making its way through Haiti last night. (No deaths or injuries have been reported there.) Forecaster say there’s still a chance Emily could regroup into a somewhat serious storm. Effects on South Florida remain unclear, and the forecast…
Here’s the good news: as of right now, we only have a 30 percent chance of rain on Saturday, which is less than today’s 50 percent chance. Here’s the bad news: Tropical Storm Emily’s path is inching ever closer toward Florida and continues to threaten your beach time…
While it’s not projected to directly hit South Florida, or any part of the state for that matter, Tropical Storm Emily has all the makings of one of those classic, seriously annoying hurricanes. So, even under the best-case scenario, prepare to have a serious dampening damper put on your weekend…
Members of Florida Tea Party groups are so upset with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s efforts to save manatees that they are claiming that new rules to possibly be imposed in famous Kings Bay would not only go against the Bible, but also are part of a vast United Nations conspiracy…
Miami’s least favorite time of year, Hurricane Season, kicks off officially on June 1st, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is predicting an above average Atlantic season with as many as 18 named storms, ten hurricanes and six major hurricanes…
The great alien python menace continues to ravage to the delicate ecosystem of the Everglades, and scientists hoped that last January’s historic cold snap would put a big dent in the invasive snake population. Unfortunately, most of those slimy bastards managed to survive the big chill. Not even Mother Nature…
