Dolphins Rout Bills 24-10, Are Knocked Out of the Playoffs Anyway

The Miami Dolphins trounced the Bills yesterday behind a 3 TD day from Reggie “LaMontelle Pussyhammer” Bush, a balls-up performance from Reshad Jones and an efficient day from Ryan Tannehill that saw the rookie join the 3,000-yard club for the season. However, a few hours later the Fins found out…

Miami Dolphins Five Keys to Victory Versus Buffalo

Last week, the Dolphins managed to put their season on life support with a strong performance against a terrible Jags team. With a 6-8 record, the Dolphins have a roughly .0000000000081% chance of getting into the playoffs if certain scenarios play out. JOY!…

Marlins Actually Sign Someone: Placido Polanco

After selling off just about every player with anything resembling major league talent, the Miami Marlins have actually signed someone. Yes, they’re bringing in two-time All-Star third baseman Placido Polanco, but the deal is only for a single season…

LeBron James Bikes to Most Home Games

Riptide used to live four blocks from the office and still sometimes drove to work just to sit in front of a computer. LeBron James lives in Coconut Grove and bikes to the American Airlines Arena for most home games, and then plays 40-plus minutes of high intensity basketball. Riptide…

Dolphins Throttle Jaguars 24-3 As Tannehill, Bush Thrive

Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!…

Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus Jaguars

Ah, the Battle for Florida.Former Dolphin Chad ‘The Robot’ Henne vs. Ryan ‘Tanny Boyeee’ Tannehill! Revenge for 62-7! Vindication for the loud, smelly fart that 2012 has proven to be! A chance to avoid a fourth losing season in five years! Tough-nosed, physical … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Al Golden Isn’t Going to Wisconsin

Fair not, ‘Canes fans. Despite another round of rumors that a school was interested in poaching head coach Al Golden, the man in the orange tie has once again reconfirmed his commitment to the Coral Gables school. Rumors were floating as early as last week that Golden was being considered in…

LeBron James: “Charles Barkley Needs to Shut Up”

Basketball star turned professional mouth Charles Barkley has emerged as the preeminent Miami Heat hater of our times, and LeBron James for one has had enough.James told Barkley to “shut up” point blank after the TNT analyst took shots at Dwyane Wade’s athletic ability…

Hurricanes Player Thomas Finnie Arrested for Laptop Theft

University of Miami Hurricanes player Thomas Finnie may not have the name recognition of Cam Newton, but he finds himself in a similar situation. No, not in contention for a Heisman, but accused of a laptop theft.The defensive back was arrested today on charges of occupied burglary and grand larceny…

Wisconsin Reportedly Interested in Hurricanes Coach Al Golden

Al Golden has only compiled a 13-11 record as head coach of the Miami Hurricanes, but he’s done so under difficult circumstances. His efforts have caught the eye of other schools’ Athletic Directors, and he’s been rumored as a possible candidate for recent vacancies at Boston College and Tennessee. Now,…

Dolphins Fall to Niners 27-13

The Miami Dolphins have shown a knack all season for hanging with good teams only to vomit into their own pants when the game is on the line. It happened last week against the Patriots and it happened again yesterday against the 49ers as the Dolphins lost 27-13, despite being…

Butch Davis Doesn’t Want that FIU Job Anyway

Sorry Golden Panthers fans, your team won’t be getting former Hurricanes coach Butch Davis. After the shocking firing of head coach Mario Cristobal, rumors emerged that Davis was the school’s top choice. Which made a certain amount of sense, considering Davis has a long history with FIU’s Athletic Director Pete Garcia. …

Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus 49ers

So it comes to this: your Miami Dolphins take that loooong west coast flight to face the 8-3 San Francisco 49ers. A few weeks ago this looked like a great matchup: a rising Dolphins team with playoff hopes facing the one-time object of our affection, Jim Harbaugh, and the team…

Mario Cristobal: We Built FIU “From a Hole in the Ground”

Do you have a college football team that’s little more than a couple JuCo rejects and a dream? Is it basically a hole in the ground? Well, freshly fired former FIU coach Mario Cristobal would like to remind everyone that he specializes in turning laughingstocks into semi-respectable players. Perhaps most…

Butch Davis Top Candidate For FIU Job?

Perhaps FIU’s surprise firing of Mario Cristobal this morning makes a little bit more sense now. Butch Davis, the man who helped rebuild the Miami Hurricanes in the late ’90s, is rumored to be the top candidate for the job…