You might have missed it if you were watching the game on television last night, but the arena announcer at the AAA got in a pretty A+ zinger when Amar’e Stoudemire fouled out of last night’s game.”He has been extinguished from the game,” shouted announcer Michael Baiamonte…
After losing Game 4 in New York, and after the Knicks celebrated with streamers and threw a parade down the Canyon of Heroes after winning their first playoff game in 4,024 days, the Miami Heat reminded everyone that it, in fact, is the better team and finally extinguished the Knicks…
In Game Four between the Heat and the Knicks, LeBron and D-Wade seemed to decide their buddy ‘Melo needed at least one win to save face in New York, so they downed some Quaaludes and let the Knicks have their way with them. How else to explain Wade missing seven…
Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he made those dumb comments about Fidel Castro. Even his Twitter has remained inactive for more than a month. However, you can’t keep Guillen’s mouth shut for long, even as he’s trying to put the incident behind him. In…
The Miami Heat showed up to Madison Square Garden for Game 4 yesterday and, while they have plenty of fucks to give, they must have left them in their other jeans, because for three quarters the Heat played like they had none to give away. None fucks. And so the…
Have you ever noticed how the Miami Dolphin’s logo-baring helmet includes a picture of a dolphin wearing a helmet that actually looks nothing like a helmet the Dolphins actually wear? Why don’t the Dolphins wear helmets with just simple oranges Ms like their logo? Or why doesn’t the logo wear…
Earlier today, Luther Campbell dropped a bomb on Drew Rosenhaus, alleging the North Miami-based NFL super agent paid Tommy Streeter — one of five Miami Hurricanes football players who left school early to enter the draft — $50,000 to sign with him. The Miami New Times columnist was a guest…
The great college athletic conference shake up of the past year isn’t quite over yet, and it’s working its way down to the mid-majors.This morning, Florida International University announced that it’s leaving the Sun Belt conference behind, and is moving on up to Conference USA in 2013. FIU could be…
In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James’s undoing last night. His first three…
Your favorite Taiwanese animators, the folks at Next Media Animation, have created a faithful take on the last game in the Heat vs. Knicks series.Yes, we do recall LeBron James literally being on fire and jumping off the backs of Knicks players. That is exactly how it happened…
In the middle of the Heat’s series against the New York Knicks, Chris Bosh flew home to Miami last night for the birth of his first son. Jackson Bosh was born at 3 a.m. this morning, just shortly after Daddy Bosh’s private plane landed in Miami at 2 a.m. Bosh…
It’s been more than a week since Ryan Tannehill officially became the Dolphins QB of the future. The pick was supposed to inspire excitement in the Dolphins fan base, but so far it has mostly caused excitement in the pants of geeky sportswriters across the web. That is, of course,…
When Dave Duerson committed suicide in a Sunny Isles condo in February 2011, the manner of his death was so shocking and tragic — a bright and beloved former football star shooting himself in the chest to preserve his brain for concussion-related dementia testing — that it seemed to signal…
Jonathan Vilma, the superstar linebacker from Coral Gables who figured prominently in Nevin Shapiro’s University of Miami scandal, has been suspended for an entire year by the NFL for his role in another major football-related debacle.The New Orleans Saints star allegedly helped his former defensive coordinator, Greg Williams, create and…
Former University of Miami football coach Randy Shannon has filed a lawsuit against UM in Miami-Dade court, alleging that the school is stiffing him on money he’s owed. After firing the coach in November 2010, the school has tried to pro-rate the cash its still obligated to pay Shannon –…
Junior Seau, the 12-time Pro Bowler, who played for the Miami Dolphins for three seasons, has reportedly been found dead at the age of 43 in his California home. According to sources who spoke to gossip website TMZ, Seau may have committed suicide…
The past few days of rainy weather have been a real test for the new Marlins Park, and the $515 million stadium has not passed with flying colors. The team’s management is now scrambling to fix leaks in the 8,000-ton retractable roof and, because that roof has been closed longer…
Game 1 of the Eastern Conference quarterfinals between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks was all about LeBron James smashing people’s faces with his giant ball sack. Last night’s Game 2 was more of a team effort, with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh turning in big-time performances worthy…
Was there really any question that the Miami Heat are the most “GQ motherfucker” team in sports history? GQ itself seems to confirm this, because their recent “Most Stylish NBA Players Ever” list is dominated by Miami Heat players. And yes, the big three dominates the top five…
For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the…
A gorilla walks into a bar… Actually, it was a Dave & Buster’s in Arizona. And technically, it wasn’t a real gorilla. But the Phoenix Suns’ back-up mascot did leave the arcade with a bloody nose after Miami Heat fan Timothy Austin decked him the face. According to the Arizona…
It only took 29 years, but the Miami Dolphins finally grew a pair and used a first round pick to select a quarterback. And that quarterback is Ryan Tannehill of Texas A&M.After getting stiffed by Peyton Manning during the offseason, and feeling pretty meh about Matt Flynn, the Dolphins went…
