Urban Meyer’s real reason for retiring

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke probes Urban Meyer’s resignation as head coach of University of Florida’s football team. Urban Meyer is not…

Man Christ Caused Judge’s Death?

That Ka-Ka-crazy dude Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda who proclaims himself the Man Christ/Anti-Christ is talking cuckoo again. This time, he’s dancing on the grave of a recently deceased Miami judge. It’s the type of evil insidious behavior we come to expect from the self-proclaimed seven headed Beast that rose…

Why The Feast’s Rankings Are So Messed Up

It sure took a long time for The Feast Miami to get its website together, enough to take off the BETA tag, but apparently it wasn’t long enough to figure out how to rank restaurants properly. I mean, when P.F. Chang’s and Norman’s 180 take up two of your top…

Christmas Trees Wrecked Kevin Burns’ Holiday Spirit

Kevin Burns won’t be having a Merry Christmas this year. In this week’s print edition of Miami New Times (which is available online later today), we chronicle how the former North Miami mayor’s 34-year-old business selling Christmas trees is no ho-ho-ho fun.Banana Republican interviewed several people familiar with Burns’ operation,…

Urban Meyer Leaves UF to Protect His Legacy

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke probes Urban Meyer’s resignation as head coach of University of Florida’s football team.Urban Meyer is not retiring…

County Commissioners Joe Martinez and Sally Heyman Want Red Light Cameras

Looking for ways to screw taxpayers even more, county commissioners Joe Martinez and Sally Heyman want to introduce red light cameras for unincorporated Miami-Dade. Several cities, including Miami Beach, Hialeah and Miami Gardens, have already installed the controversial traffic ticket generators as a new source of government revenue. Call it…

Johnny Salton and the Reactions’ The Reactions Love You

The Reactions The Reactions Love You (Reaction Records) While we’re all still reeling from Johnny Salton’s passing, I have to admit that it has been a real pleasure to revisit the music that the man left behind. Without a doubt, the Psycho Daisies are one of Florida’s most criminally underrated…

Carlos Gimenez Proposes Term Limits for County Commissioners

Getting a majority of Miami-Dade County commissioners to discuss term limits is like trying to convince Julian Assange to get tested for a venereal disease. Unless someone threatens them with arrest, they won’t consider it. But give Commissioner Carlos Gimenez credit for at least trying to broach the subject of…

Airport security is racist and stupid

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gets in on the Transportation Security Administration body scanner controversy. The Transportation Security Administration employees get to…

La Roux: A Visual Primer for Tonight’s Show at Mansion

La Roux performs at Mansion tonight. It’s a makeup date for the band’s South Beach show that was canceled back in August. Last month, when Elly Jackson and friends made-up their show at the Culture Room, the flame-maned singer’s vocals were somewhat lacking, according to New Times Broward-Palm Beach music…

Pay Your Dues and Taxes, Snipes

​Wesley Snipes can learn a lot from Martha Stewart. He starts a three-year prison sentence tomorrow in Pennsylvania for tax-related infractions. But rather than accepting his punishment like a man, he bitched to Larry King last night on CNN about how “upset and disappointed that the system seems to not…

The TSA Is Racist And Stupid

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gets in on the Transportation Safety Administration body scanner controversy.The Transportation Security Administration employees get to see…

Why All Chef Interviews Should Be Ten Words Or Less

Chef Giovanni Arias, new head chef at Canyon Ranch Hotel & Spa, recently talked with Feast Miami about his new gig. When asked what he brings “to the Canyon Ranch table,” Arias replied: “I can bring out the best of any ingredient and transform a simple and fresh dish to…

Jersey Shore Season 4 May Shoot in Miami

We miss Snooki almost every single day, and when the crew headed off in their black Escalades at the end of Jersey Shore’s Miami-set second season back to whatever hell it is they came from we thought we’d never see her again (well, save for an odd club appearance here…