As a relatively new vegan, I’m always on the lookout for convenient foodstuffs that allow me to feel like a semi-normal human. At the buffet of life, no one wants to be relegated to a lonely spot by the salad bar. The good news is there are lots of easily…
Before we could afford to drink Lion Stout from Sri Lanka and craft beers at the Democratic Republic of Beer, we, like most college kids, would spend our Saturday nights talking shit and playing beer pong till we got piss drunk. And from the looks of this past weekend, not…
A St. Petersburg-area candidate for the Florida House of Representatives Monday called for hanging President Barack Obama for treason. Citing an Obama-ordered drone strike that killed an unarmed civilian, Joshua Black, a candidate for House District 68, announced first by Facebook and then by Twitter: “I’m past impeachment. It’s time…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking music made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke doles out some advice to pop music’s bad boy. Justin Bieber is no different from Kim Kardashian…
Independent hustler AR is a rapper who wants you to get on his level. You’re going to need a Bentley, several cases of Ciroc, a backyard party at the Circle House, and a single with Jim Jones. We were there at his new music listening party on Saturday night, getting…
In Florida, it’s practically impossible to escape one’s poor decision thanks to dozens of websites that exist to repost mugshots and charge offenders to take them down. The effect of this cottage industry on vulnerable offenders is well-documented, and it can cost thousands of dollars to clear one’s Google search…
Miami’s kids won a pyrrhic victory yesterday. Larrie Lovett II pleaded guilty and was sentenced to ten years of probation for stealing more than $70,000 from the Children’s Trust — a teen anti-violence program — and other charities. He spent the money he stole from those children on his Pembroke…
Candace Long just wanted to party. It was her birthday, after all. And she wasn’t going to let her babysitting job — or the frigid temperatures Florida had plunged into — stop her. Indeed, even after her solitary party had ended, and she was in cuffs for child neglect, she…
Black women across America are jonesing for the return of Scandal, a hit TV show on ABC about a hot, intelligent, African-American lady who has a love affair with the president of the United States. But it’s not Obama. This fictional leader of the free world happens to be a…
Where’s the Cheap Beer? But expensive beer is better: Yep, times are changing (“One Man’s Quest to Find a $1 Beer in South Florida,” Kyle Swenson January 9). When I was younger, people would do slum-bar crawls and have private parties and drink case after case of this cheap watered-down…
The Hialeah City Commission Tuesday voted unanimously to take former mayor Raul Martinez’s name off city hall. The current mayor, Carlos Hernandez, a longtime critic of the indicted but later cleared politician, pushed the measure, saying, “The building belongs to the people.” For good measure, the council also agreed to…
Julio Sanchez began planning his daughter’s quinceañera almost three years in advance. One of the things the Cuban-American loved about his daughter Janessa was her thoughtfulness, and she decided a small, inexpensive get-together would do just fine when the time came. Nothing like the elaborate, $20,000 blowouts some of her…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke pontificates on TV’s most titillating program. Black women across America are jonesing for the return of Scandal, a…
More and more people are willing to brand themselves with their favorite product’s logo — and pay for it. Iconic logos like Coca-Cola and Budweiser are available in wearables such as T-shirts, hats, and board shorts, which people happily purchase to showcase their favorite food or drink. Now that fad…
Don’t be a drag, just be a queen … Or a male bartender dressed up as Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy, Ivanna Shaker, Roxy Rodriguez, and the rest of the fierce bitches at Blackbird Ordinary’s Speed Drag. Male bartenders from the Broken Shaker, Haven, and other local watering holes unleashed their inner…
False doctor Tony Bosch, who beat the system in Florida after supplying more than a dozen top athletes with anti-aging drugs, spoke with 60 Minutes Sunday. In a series of story that more than confirmed groundbreaking Miami New Times stories about Biogenesis, Bosch’s Coral Gables clinic, the son of Coral…
Real Housewives of Miami cast member Lisa Hochstein and her husband Dr. Lenny “Boob God” Hochstien are currently in a war with preservations to tear down a historic Star Island mansion and build the party house of their dreams, but they’ve already deprived Star Island of another icon: Rosie O’Donnell…
Meet Anthony Bourdain. Chef, author, television host, comic book writer, publisher, professional Twitterer, and now food court mogul. Oh, yes, kiddies. Page Six of the New York Post has shared the exclusive scoop that Bourdain is planning on opening a food court spotlighting all the street food he’s been raving…
Big news today is that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie fulfilled everyone’s political expectations and killed his own candidacy for the Republican nomination for presidency in 2016. A top aide, it seems, pushed for “traffic problems” in the city of Fort Lee as retribution against a mayor who wouldn’t back…
Miami Northwestern Senior High Principal Wallace Aristide has done the unthinkable. He has turned the school into an academic institution that received its first A grade this year. Aristide has now fulfilled the vision of his predecessor, Charles Hankerson. Hankerson, you might recall, is the former principal who butted heads…
The Masked Man Dude is crazy: Obviously, Ericson Harrell, the police officer throwing a fit about getting arrested in a Guy Fawkes mask (“The Cop Behind the Mask,” Terrence McCoy, January 2), is having some sort of brain issue that is causing delusional thinking and mild schizophrenia and paranoia. Most…
Edible Anus via FacebookImagine the surprise when your boss opens this.Did you ever have to give a gift to someone who’s, well, a bit of an asshole? We’ve found the perfect present: Edible Anus! It’s exactly what you think it is. Fine Belgian chocolate in the shape of a butthole…
