[Editor’s Note: In his new column, Serrano Time, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes because your socks are about to be blown off.] I went running the other morning. I used to run all the time. I was in shape, and…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke makes one final push before the Miami City election on Nov. 5. Miami City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones did…
Say what you wanna say, but the truth is that Halloween is an excuse for ladies (and even dudes) to unleash their inner ratchet. And if you’re like some of the party animals at the Vagabond’s Joker Asylum party, you celebrate Fright Night by expressing your sexual prowess, walking around…
You’ve been working hard, haven’t you? Don’t you think it’s time for a vacation? Well, if you’re looking for the perfect waterfront pad, and you have a month to kill and at least $30,000, not only are you a rich son of a bitch, but we’ve got the deal for…
About a month ago, Panya Amporn, the owner of North Miami Beach’s Panya Thai, asked his ex-wife to come back to work for the restaurant. “An employee quit, and he called me,” Judy Khuanthong says. Back in 2003, when the pair was still married, she helped her husband open the…
Upset about poor conditions and the firing of a legendary coach, the Grambling State University football team last Friday refused to board a bus for Jackson, Mississippi, to play Jackson State. The revolt by the 0-7 Tigers is exposing an ugly reality of college athletics. The NCAA and corporate sponsors…
Fight Club Take it from a bouncer: As a former bouncer, I can tell you there is really no need to be a douchebag like the ones you wrote about at Dirty Blondes who are routinely beating up customers while the police look the other way (“Beat Down,” Terrence McCoy,…
TLC/Courtesy of VH1 [Editor’s Note: In his new column, Serrano Time, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes because your socks are about to be blown off.] On Monday night, I watched the movie about TLC, the most important all-girl rap group…
Right now Nevin Shapiro is jumping off the walls in his cold, dark cell in federal lockup. The disgraced Ponzi schemer must be losing his mind. I wish I was a guard just so I could watch him cry his eyes out. He promised to tear down the University of…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes to bat for historically black colleges. The Grambling State University football team’s revolt is exposing an…
Bachelorette parties are more than strippers, penis cakes, and free tequila shots for the bridal party. They’re one last hurrah for the bride-to-be and an excuse for the rest of us single ladies to get blasted in hopes of meeting Mr. Right Now. And every bachelorette party, much like the…
Have you heard that Oreos are as addictive as cocaine? A new study from Connecticut College shows that laboratory rats found Oreos to be pretty delicious. The college’s research concluded that the cookies “activated more neurons in the rat brain’s pleasure center than drugs such as cocaine”, according to Time…
One of the world’s foremost conspiracy theorists doesn’t want people to get the wrong impression when they Google his name. “Mind Control: The Ultimate Terror”? Fine. “New (Reptilian) World Order”? Hey, he wrote that article. But calling him an “American loon”? That’s cause for a libel suit, according to Uri…
If you go to Dallas, Atlanta, New York, or any other major city, the TV reporters look like a zombified Walter Cronkite who just stumbled out of the cemetery. But Miami’s TV stations employ the hottest women in America to deliver the weather reports, news about traffic jams on I-95,…
Internet Fame Gone Wrong Only in Florida: Your profile of Loli-chan, the girl who became famous to internet pedophiles and now has trouble living as an adult (“Lonely Lolita,” Allie Conti, October 10) shows there are some sick and very awkward people in this world. I thought I had seen…
A lot of dubious honors have been bestowed upon Miami, but yesterday we received a new designation: having the worst restaurant in America. The Daily Meal, in compiling its annual list of 101 best restaurants, also named the worst eateries in the nation. The introduction states that the bottom dwellers…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke ranks the most beautiful women on local television news. If you go to Dallas, Atlanta, New York, or…
During its four years of bringing musical talent and drunken debauchery to the Magic City, Bardot has attracted some of the best indie, hip-hop, and electronic artists to its floor-level carpet stage. While the club has hosted national acts, including Florence Welch, Mayer Hawthorne, and Starfucker, it’s the local artists…
Oscar Hijuelos was decidedly not Cuban. And he was certainly not a Miamian. Yet the 62-year-old author, who died Saturday in Manhattan, cast perhaps a longer literary shadow over the Magic City than any other 20th Century man of letters, His Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Mambo Kings Play Songs…
Killed Over a Jet Ski Property over life: I’m writing to you in response to your article about Reynaldo Muñoz, who was shot and killed while stealing a WaveRunner (“Dead in the Water,” Michael E. Miller, October 3) and who you claim was denied justice by a bad detective and…
With absentee ballots in the mail and early voting beginning in two weeks for the City of Miami’s November elections, it’s important that residents in District 5, which includes Overtown, Brownsville, Little Haiti, and Liberty City, cast their ballots for Keon Hardemon. Last year, the 29-year-old attorney put his name…
Major confession. My absolute favorite writer is Stephen King. Not F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not James Joyce. Not even Ernest Hemingway. Ever since my guitar teacher placed The Shining in my hands when I was about 12, I have been obsessed with the author. And I know exactly why. Unlike other…
