A Man Named Ram Hammer and a Disappointing Pimp

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will…

Unplugging Chris Cornell and the Ghost of Grunge

What exactly was grunge? We know the early-’90s trend was some kind of rock ‘n’ roll. But were its adherents just the latest batch of unwashed punks or hippies? They kind of looked like both. And the music kind of sounded like both too.Grunge — both the dirge-y guitar tunes…

Corina Esquijarosa, North Bay Village Mayor, Facing Imminent Recall

It’s the final countdown for North Bay Village Mayor Corina Esquijarosa. The Miami-Dade Elections Office has verified that a political action committee seeking a recall against Esquijarosa has obtained the required number of voter signatures to call an election.Citizens For Full Disclosure needed to get 440 John Hancocks in its…

The McRib Is Back: My Chihuahua Is McLovin’ It

McDonald’s announced it was re-releasing it’s mystery-meat sandwich the McRib at all of its stores through November 14. Immediately, people went wild on Twitter to comment on the sandwich that causes such a devoted frenzy whenever the fast-food giant takes the pork-like sammy out for a spin. In fact, #McRib is…

On Our Layoff and the Illiterate South Florida Chronicle

Some illiterate little paper I had never heard of — and never hope to hear of again — the South Florida Chronicle — was reveling this morning in the fact that I had to lay off an employee a couple of weeks ago.Sorry, you simpletons. There were no big layoffs. One…

Raul Martinez Is Sorry He Paved The Way For Julio Robaina

​Last time Raul Martinez ran for elected office, he got handed his only and worst defeat of his political career. He was part of a Democratic tag team that was supposed to topple the Diaz-Balart oligarchy controlling two of Miami’s Hispanic U.S. Congressional seats. The coup failed miserably and we…

Guns N’ Roses, Chinese Democracy, and the Ancient Art of Patience

​Sometime toward the end of the second Dubya Bush term, we found ourselves on the back patio of a Downtown Miami nightclub in full-throttle Friday night mode. Inside the club, sweaty bodies writhed and wiggled all over each other like an overturned bucket of earthworms. Rightfully so, as the tunes…

Memorial Day Weekend Needs Me

Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke announces plans to reclaim Memorial Day Weekend on Miami Beach.Six months ago, a young man died and…

Judy Waldman is in Prime Company With Homestead Mayor Steve Bateman

A family of real estate developers who avoided paying more than $100,000 in code violations in Homestead thanks to Mayor Steve Bateman sure knows how to spoil the city’s elected officials. Through various corporations they own, Eduardo, Fred, and Larry Abbo also contributed $5,500 to Vice-Mayor Judy Waldman’s reelection campaign…