The Ten Best Movie and Television Cannibals (Video)

Humans, it seems, will eat just about anything. We eat cows, pigs, ducks, chickens, and fish all the time and think nothing of it. In other countries people eat insects, lizards, snakes, rodents and even our family pet, the dog.Since Travel Channel launched No Reservations and Bizarre Foods, the practice…

Carlos Gimenez Looks to Cut Successful Juvenile Boot Camp

A highly successful county-run boot camp for juvenile offenders could be shut down because of budget cuts. “Every year, this program is on the chopping block,” says Bertila Soto, the associate administrative judge for Miami-Dade Criminal Court. “This boot camp is vital. It is the only youth rehabilitation program of…

Carlos Gimenez’s Anti-Gay Supporter

​Carlos Gimenez is wasting no time gearing up for his re-election run in 2012. As the mayor makes the rounds promoting his first county budget, his political action committee Common Sense Now is hard at work twisting arms and raising money.But a prominent Republican Brickell Avenue attorney could end up…

Ave Maria: Not Just For Christians, Says Editor Patricia Sette

​A couple days ago, we wrote a post that referred would-be Senator Marielena Stuart and Ave Maria, a place west of here that just might be the most Christian community in the Western hemisphere. Patricia Sette, editor of of the (secular) news site for the town, The Ave Herald, took…

Marc Sarnoff’s Campaign Can’t Get Addresses Straight

Last Thursday, we reported on the odd coincidence that a marketing consultant working on Marc Sarnoff’s re-election campaign shared the same business address as the private law practice of the Miami city commissioner.Our post prompted Sarnoff’s wife Theresa to submit an amendment to his most recent quarterly finance report changing…

Nevin Shapiro: Don’t Believe a Word

​Scam artist Nevin Shapiro’s allegations detailed in Yahoo! Sports might end the University of Miami football program. Or maybe not. As New Times showed this past December in a lengthy magazine-style piece, Shapiro is “the epitome of a Magic City con artist: a hard-partying, tasteless, status-obsessed gambler with a lust for…

Nevin Shapiro Can Kiss My Ass UPDATED

Nevin Shapiro wishes he could wear my shorts for one day. The New Jersey-born Napoleon dubbed himself “Little Luke” in a so-called investigative report by Yahoo! Sports claiming all sorts of corrupt shit Shapiro committed while he was a booster of the University of Miami athletics program.The claims even include…

Regalado Must Go: Miami Declares Financial Morass Again

​To sidestep union demands and deal with its burgeoning financial crisis, the City of Miami declared a situation of financial urgency. It is the second straight year the city has done this. The idea stinks. (The text of Martinez’s declaration follows the jump.) It gives the union 14 days to…

I Love Lady Gaga

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke expounds on the greatness of Lady Gaga.In this age of digital media, when you can download any…

Don’t Get Your Free Beach Towing VIP Decal Right Here

Editor’s Note: In this blog post, Miami New Times did not imply or intend to imply that Beach Towing violated the law by distributing VIP parking decals. Beach Towing’s attorney says the decals identify “the owners of vehicles who reside at certain condominiums in contrast to persons who are parked…

McKeon’s Musings: This San Francisco Team Is Mighty Queer

Jack McKeon, the 80-year-old interim manager of the Florida Marlins, is Riptide’s interim semiregular columnist. This week’s topic: the San Francisco Giants. I was on the bullpen phone with Corny the other day when he reminded me that San Francisco is coming to town. I just about barfed my chaw…