Even in summer, The Bitch likes to be covered in sun-repellent fabric from whiskers to tail, and her attire regularly consists of a Ludacris/Curtis Sliwa-inspired urban uniform of a short-sleeve T-shirt over a long-sleeve white T-shirt and Lucky Brand jeans. The culturally conscious canine does make some concessions to Miami…
Miami Is Not Seattle Which is why reggaeton crushes indie rock: In his article “Out of Step” (July 7), Mosi Reeves writes that Miami, unlike most cities, lacks a “vibrant indie culture.” Translation: White people are not the majority in Miami. But is this a bad thing? Miami is like…
During the hottest days of summer (when every day is not just Halloween but a dog day as well), The Bitch tries to move only from the Barkalounger to the tile to cool off, but sometimes the sun-sensitive sighthound dashes over to Nordstrom at the Village of Merrick Park in…
Speaking as a columnist, I can say that Manny Diaz has been an absolute disaster as mayor of Miami. As Diaz’s first term in office draws to a close and he quietly raises funds for his re-election campaign — a campaign in which he has yet to draw an opponent…
Democracy, Department: They Both Start with D But the similarities end there: Regarding Tristram Korten’s “RIP for the CIP?” (June 23): The Miami Police Department’s unwillingness to provide the documents requested by the CIP surely indicates the police are trying to hide something. Otherwise, what reason would they have to…
Whenever The Bitch needed a change from desayuno especial from Enriqueta’s Sandwich Shop, conveniently located only a block from the New Times doghouse, she used to trot over to Smitty’s Family Restaurant on the corner of 31st Street and NE Second Avenue for a hearty, old-school breakfast of fried eggs…
Biscayne Park: Tax Us More And shut the gates for safety of ourselves: The story by Francisco Alvarado, “Delusions of Dogma” (June 16), is yellow journalism at its finest. When I go home, I want to feel probably safe. That is the safest I have ever felt, living in all…
Bill Stephens is careful to sound confident but never cocky as he chats with Kulchur. After all, pride is one of the seven deadly sins, and as executive director of Florida’s Christian Coalition, Stephens has an example to set. Still, these are heady days for conservative Christian activists — their…
Posada: No Candidate for Canonization The happy tidings of his good escape: Brett Sokol’s article “Terror Alert, Miami Style” (June 2), regarding Luis Posada Carriles, made one huge omission of fact. Mr. Sokol informs us Mr. Posada Carriles “escaped from a Venezuelan prison,” but he (conveniently) forgets to mention he…
What do you get when you mix a Veterans of Foreign Wars post with a South Beach high-rise? You get VFW Post 3559, possibly the world’s most fabulously fusty rec room for veterans and the people who will listen to their stories in exchange for cheap drinks. Located on the…
Yes, Master, Your Every Wish Is Our Command Spoken like a true journalism student: Thanks for running Edmund Newton’s article on the disagreements over teaching journalism (“Newsroom or Classroom?” June 9). Both sides of the argument are taking place in the same box. I think we all know by now…
Like the dementors stalking Harry Potter in The Prisoner of Azkaban, the demands of citizenship pursue the bedeviled Bitch wherever she goes, even within the haven of the Miami-Dade County Law Library in the Richard E. Gerstein Justice Building. While brushing up on her pro se skills, she was approached…
It’s been seven months since Carlos Alvarez was sworn into office. That should have been more than enough time for Miami-Dade’s newest mayor to learn a morning rush-hour shortcut to work, figure out his e-mail, record a snappy voice-mail greeting, and finally do something — anything — mayoral. Instead the…
Kulchur and Castro: Simpatico An obvious conclusion drawn from this slander against Luis Posada Carriles: I did not like the general tone of Brett Sokol’s column about Luis Posada Carriles (“Terror Alert, Miami Style,” June 2). He wrote, “Posada, who is believed to be the mastermind of the 1976 midair…
The Bitch recently had the honor of interviewing Hinsul Lazo, the 48-year-old native of Pinar del Río, Cuba, and owner of Museo del Disco, an insurgent CD and DVD store occupying a West Miami-Dade warehouse. The Bitch: Um, so you’ve called me a bunch of times trying to get me…
Baaaaa, Baaaaa It’s not NPR, and it’s a long way from Miami, but at least there’s no potty talk: There are three forms of talk radio that require no talent to execute: gardening shows, partisan political bickering (by elephants and jackasses alike), and potty talk. Banter about orgasms and manhood…
Sometimes it’s embarrassing to live in Miami, and sometimes it’s downright scary — scary enough to make locals blanch — turn white as sheets, even. Yet people are shy, if not subtle, about expressing such discomfort. Rather than simply observing the obvious — that a lot of mostly young, mostly…
As journalistic flareups go, it was hardly on the scale of Newsweek igniting a fresh round of Middle Eastern jihad. Still the May 17 secret press conference and subsequent arrest of legendary anti-Castro militant Luis Posada Carriles was a classic, only-in-Miami media moment, one in which a flock of reporters…
Best Self-Promotion Karaoke? Got your karaoke right here: Once again Miami New Times has failed to actually conduct research before choosing the best of anything (“Best of Miami,” May 12). I run Karaoke Miami, which has several locations in Miami-Dade. Any one of the places I run, or any run…
Shakespeare-referencing HBO series Deadwood gave viewers a season finale that began with a funeral and ended with a wedding yet left an impression more tragic than comedic. A Miami Beach-based Bitch TV focus group resoundingly approved of the South Dakota serial, with the male specimens enthusiastic over the episode’s depictions…
It’s hard to imagine another major city in America with as many closeted politicians as Miami. No, not closeted about being gay — in the closet about being Democrats. Whatever shortcomings Alex Penelas may have had as county mayor (and as a Democrat), he had few qualms about making county…
Bullet Time: Off Target Errors mar otherwise lousy article: Regarding Francisco Alvarado’s “Bullet Time” (May 5), I must point out some factual errors. Taking a class at a gun show does not allow one to simply walk out with a concealed-weapon permit. Rather upon successful completion you are presented with…
