Miami According to Brooklyn: Dating Advice

To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. Most of these guys who hang out in this club scene crap have no respect for women whatsoever. They’re just out trying to get their dick wet, which is horrible. I see it every day. Women should be treated…

Esto solo pasa en Meeyami

Today, the last day of 2008, Banana Republican highlights his ten favorite news stories of the year, the tales that truly capture life in a sun-drenched, third-world dimension. 10. Marc Sarnoff’s Memo to Himself. The Coconut Grove loving city commissioner has a super secret meeting with Joe Arriola at which…

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? ¡Feliz Navidad from Jose El Rey!

¡Feliz Navidad, Miami! As I sit by my Christmas tree and look upon the disco ball ornaments as they glitter and shine, I stroll through my holiday memory lane.This is the time of year that I eat tons of lechon, yuca, and arroz con frijoles. I have no idea what…

Letters from the Issue of December 25, 2008

Bolivia: The Lost Frontier Evo sucks: Even though Tim Elfrink’s December 18 cover story, “Black October,” was beautifully written, I’m disappointed that the egotism and thirst for revenge of a man as ignorant and power-hungry as Bolivia’s current president, Evo Morales, has blinded even an educated audience. People should know…

Strippers’ XXXmas

A snow angel of a girl — pretty, brunette, and fair — stands on a stage in hoochie stilettos and a sky-blue thong with ribbonlike straps that knot at her hips. The lighted floor below her shifts in color every few seconds, providing a much-needed glow to BT’s Gentlemen’s Club…

Miami According to Brooklyn: Miami vs. Ft. Lauderdale

To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. Since I’ve lived and worked in both Ft. Lauderdale and Miami, I want to talk about the differences between the scenes, and also just getting around in each place. First off as far as Ft. Lauderdale goes, transportation sucks…

Spin Magazine Names Lil Wayne Rock Star of the Year

This one deserves to be debated for awhile. In a somewhat shocking proclamation, Spin Magazine, recently named current Miami resident Lil Wayne as Rock Star of the Year. It’s a nice gesture but you’ve got to wonder if he’s really earned it?Before everyone jumps and curses Spin for trying to…

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.?: How To Get The Ladies

To get an introduction to Jose El Rey (if you actually need one!) and to read last week’s installment of his weekly Crossfade column, Que Pasa, M.I.A?, click here. Maybe it’s my moustache. Maybe it’s the gel in my hair. Perhaps, and most likely, it’s the manner in which I…

Letters from the Issue of December 18, 2008

Ugliness or Fact He just wants to inform the haters: On December 11, Altaf Ali, executive director of the Florida Chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), was quoted in Miami New Times denouncing the award-winning documentary Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West. As the producer of this…

Miami’s Best Live Music of 2008

The year’s 10 best shows of the year? I’m sick of that shit. The top 10 albums? Tired. Finest songs? Forget about it. Here are my faves in the categories that music nerds probably won’t list this season. With a bonus: They were all onstage. Best Virgin Live Appearance: Tie…

E! Celebrates Sanctity of Traditional Divorce

E! is apparently creating a new show that celebrates the sanctity of traditional divorce, and guess what? According to Changing Channels, the show’s producers are seeking local divorced ladies to star in this sure-to-be Peabody-winning program. Apparently it’s less The Sad Divorcees of South Beach and more My Super Sweet…

Throwback Tuesdays: Manu Chao “Desaparecido”

When Manu Chao released his landmark album, Clandestino, in 1998, it was regarded as an instant classic by most people who heard it. The 16-track disc was a funky underground pop album aimed right at the cultural left (and bourgeois right) of Spain, France, South America and Mexico all at…

MiMo M.Y.O.B.

At yesterday’s Miami City Commission meeting, a small group of neighborhood preservationists came prepared to do in Eric Silverman, owner of the Vagabond Motel on Biscayne Boulevard in the Upper Eastside. Members of the MiMo Biscayne Association and residents railed against Silverman’s use of his property for an open-air farmer’s…

Dennis the Moderate

Come January, expect to see a new dynamic take shape on the Miami-Dade County Commission when Dennis Moss becomes chairman. For one, Natacha Seijas will no longer have influence over the selection of committee chairs and assignments. Each of the last three commission chairs, from Barbara Carey-Shuler to Joe Martinez to…

Why Didn’t Q-Tip Do This in Fort Lauderdale?

Anybody that was at the Q-Tip concert in Fort Lauderdale the night before Thanksgiving was treated to one hell of a show! The music was great, the openers were good, and even P. Diddy was in the building buggin’ out having a good time. I can’t complain about Q-Tip’s set…

Letters from the Issue of December 11, 2008

Crazy Like a Condo A smokin’ condo: I enjoyed Gus Garcia-Roberts’s December 4 article about the $6 million condo, “Recession Special,” featuring Sildy Cervera, a real estate agent and specialist in “pump[ing] you for all sorts of information” — mostly info that will direct her to pumping your wallet bone-dry…

Toga Party

Aaron is a boyishly handsome and topless twentysomething in tight white silver-fringed pants, suspenders, body glitter, and an extravagantly feathered Spartan helmet. “Zeus was a slut,” he says while standing in one of the swirly, manicured gardens of Vizcaya (3251 S. Miami Ave., Miami). “But he was still a leader.”…

Miami According to Brooklyn: Art Basel Wrap-Up

Last week, we introduced you to Crossfade’s latest weekly guest columnist, Brooklyn, the day manager and occasional night-time gatekeeper at the Vagabond. To read a longer introduction about who he is, click here to check out last week’s premiere installment of Miami According to Brooklyn.To the person who left that…

Environmental Dunces

Soon-to-be-displaced County Commission Chairman Bruno Barreiro is no friend of the environment. The former state representative led the charge to allow developers to build beyond the county’s imaginary line that stops construction from encroaching on the Everglades and environmentally sensitive lands. He is pushing for a rewrite of Miami-Dade’s manatee…

The Perrine Spartan

Down south, between Pinecrest and Homestead, lies a place where boys don’t run, don’t cower, and certainly don’t cry when it comes time to stand their ground. They call this poverty-stricken, bleak community Perrine. Here, banging fists in the street is as common as the ice cream truck coming down…