Audio By Carbonatix
It’s the last Friday of the month, which means traffic across town will come to a screeching halt as hundreds of cyclists commandeer the streets. It’s Critical Mass, the one night every month when Miamians who hate cyclists are forced to shut up.
At 7:15 p.m., the ride will hit most of Miami’s classic tourist destinations. After starting at Government Center in downtown, it will head northwest through the newly Zika-infested clouds of mosquitoes in Wynwood, hang a right onto NW 54th Street, shank left onto Biscayne Boulevard, and then cross into Miami Beach via the 79th Street Causeway.
From there, the ride will hang a right and snake all the way down Miami Beach along Indian Creek Drive and then cut across Dade Boulevard until it hits the Venetian Causeway. Once the ride reaches the mainland, it will loop back to Government Center, where everyone will presumably bike right back to Wynwood for beer.
Given the fact that you can now catch Zika from Wynwood mosquitoes, you should wear a helmet and bug spray for the duration of the ride.
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