Audio By Carbonatix
Every once in a while, someone sends me a question that doesn’t require miles and miles of discussion. The issues are pretty simple, and they usually roll in between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m., so at first I assumed that they it was nothing more than drunken correspondence from people who had taken my advice. But one night I myself was sauced and needed counsel, so I went to my mentor, screamed my question into the air, shook him, and….”Reply hazy, try again.” Damn you, Magic 8 Ball. Dejected and answerless, I cried. Okay, so maybe copious amounts of tequila had something to do with those tears, but I was equally distressed about my inability to get a dose of valid advice when I needed it. I could practically hear the similarly desperate wails of the lovelorn rising up from the city, and I vowed to never allow anyone else to feel the way I did. So, M.C. Quickie was born; and I’m open like Club Space – allll niight looong.
12:46 A.M. My supposedly-platonic guy friend just popped up at my house with a bottle of wine and some weed. I don’t like him like that, but I’m not exactly doing anything right now. What should I do?
♥ ♥ ♥ Smoke and drink, bitch. Just don’t let your guard down – or else, you might wake up with a friendly dick in your mouth.
When news happens, Miami New Times is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If Miami New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Got a question? Email the Magic City Kitty.