Politics & Government

Mitt Romney’s Website Declares That Americans Should “Hunt, Shoot, And Protect Their Families”

We already know what Mitt Romney thinks of gays. They should not be allowed to marry, and their long hair should be forcefully cut by prep school bullies such as himself. What does Ol' Mittens think of gun rights? According to his website, it's quite contradictory: As president, Mitt will...
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We already know what Mitt Romney thinks of gays. They should not be allowed to marry, and their long hair should be forcefully cut by prep school bullies such as himself.

What does Ol’ Mittens think of gun rights? According to his website, it’s quite contradictory:

As president, Mitt will work to expand and enhance access and opportunities for Americans to hunt, shoot, and protect their families, homes and property, and he will fight the battle on all fronts to protect and promote the Second Amendment.

How does one both hunt/shoot and protect their families? Is this like The Road, where you keep an extra bullet to plug your son if the cannibals descend on you? And then you might as well eat the kid afterwards ’cause, hey– free meat?

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Is Mitt Romney’s campaign in dire need of a copy of Eats, Shoots & Leaves?

We dropped Romney’s camp a line asking them to get back to us in order to clarify his position on murdering and eating one’s family, but we have not yet heard back.

In case the website is scrubbed, here’s a screenshot courtesy of Maia Falconi-Sachs, who first brought the interesting paragraph to our attention:

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