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Libertarian Columnist Wonders if Jonathan Martin Is Gay; Blames Obama

Well, we've found it. The worst professionally written piece about the Dolphins' Richie Incognito mess has been identified. Congratulations to the OC Register's "libertarian humorist" Ron Hart for penning a column that is all at once racist, sexist, completely stupid, and manages to both wonder if Jonathan Martin is gay...
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Miami’s Face-Eating “Zombie” Returns on Grey’s Anatomy

screen grab from Grey's Anatomy Thriler episodeGrey's Anatomy's take on the Miami's face-eating zombie.Shonda Rhimes is hitting the bottom of the barrel when it comes to story ideas for the tenth season of her medical drama Grey's Anatomy. Rhimes, the creator, writer, and executive producer of the show, brought Miami's...
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“Time” at the Bass Highlights Banned Books

Manny Prieres isn't a big literary guy. The 40-year-old graphic designer and artist was born in Spain after his parents relocated there from Cuba. As a teenager, he attended Southwest Miami High School, where he often painted album covers on jean jackets for friends and developed his drawing skills. But...
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Meet the Candidates for Mayor of Miami Who Aren’t Tomas Regalado

City of Miami residents won't be given much of a choice when it comes to exercising their right to democracy during the November 5th mayoral elections. Despite an early fund-raising lead, commissioner Francis Suarez dropped out due to some minor campaign hickups and his wife's pregnancy, leaving the city without...
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Heavenly Trip: Inside the Peyote Way Church of God

A tall, heavyset man with shaggy blond hair and straight-cropped bangs stands in the middle of an empty gravel parking lot. He looks around aimlessly, hands shoved in his pockets. When he sees a car pulling up, he turns, hands still stuffed in pockets, and hurries over to a small...
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Pilobolus Collaborates With Penn & Teller, Brian Eno in New Show

Many are those who refer to dance as "magic." But the dance group Pilobolus takes the reference one step further. Pilobolus, the season opener of the Knight Masterworks/Ziff Dance Series at the Arsht Center for the Performing Arts, will quite literally blur dance and magic in homage to escape artist...
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Smoothie King Is Terrible for You

Not long ago, I set foot in my first and last Smoothie King. At the time, I was a smoothie-making fiend in my own home, gulping down bags of expensive organic frozen berries like flappers guzzled bathtub gin. So I was psyched when I walked through the door of this...
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Ten Amazing Halloween Costumes For Miami’s Sports Stars

Halloween is right around the corner, and if you haven't already, now is the time to pick up a costume. By now, Walmart's cookie-cutter dress-up shelves look like the Publix bottled water section when a hurricane is churning in the Gulf. Sometimes the best Halloween ideas are right under your...
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Redford’s All Is Lost a Genuine Nail-Biter

The title All Is Lost promises despair, especially with Robert Redford looking so stolid and weathered and still-got-it golden on the poster. Could this near-silent, you-are-there survival story be another of Redford's yawps of boomer gloom? Another complaint, like The Company You Keep, about the realization that the world we...
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Top 15 Restaurants Reviewed in 2013

'Twas the year of chicharr�n tacos and bacon-wrapped quail eggs, a time of fried alligator and pan-seared frogs' legs... Alright, enough poetry: Last year was a good year for eating, so now it's time to give thanks. 2013, thank you for the barbecued beef tongue at Gabose; the ridiculously delicious...
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Turkey Tale Free Birds Never Quite Flies

Attention, children! Thanksgiving will soon be upon us, and unless the cook in your household provides a vegetarian option, that means turkey — a bird that has been raised to be axed, packaged, and raced to your grocer's freezer, ultimately to wing its way onto your family's table. There it...
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Bounty Killer Is Entertaining in a Madcap Way

Bounty Killer feels like the adaptation of a videogame that doesn't exist. Inspired by the likes of Mad Max (movie) and Fallout (game), it tells of a desert dystopia in which soldiers of fortune are paid handsomely to knock off the corporate goons responsible for the world's sad state, with...
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Restaurant Michael Schwartz: A Beach Bonanza

South Beach has never looked as good as it does this sun-drenched afternoon. You're sitting beneath the sea grape tree at Restaurant Michael Schwartz and watching two dudes play catch with a foam football in the Raleigh Hotel pool. Children romp in the water and beg their parents for more...