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Laugh and Lose Weight

Laughing burns mad calories. And in a city that LivingSocial.com calls America’s vainest, staying fit is the priority. Thankfully, the South Beach Comedy Festival starts Wednesday. Medically speaking, the four-day fest is the ideal setting to laugh and lose weight simultaneously. Though results may vary, New Times can all but...
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Club Madonna, Miami Beach’s Only Strip Club, Says BYOB

Club Madonna Leroy Griffith's favorite past time is ruffling the feathers of the inhabitants of Miami Beach City Hall. A long standing city ordinance forbids the sale of alcohol at strip clubs, and as a result Griffith's Club Madonna is the only strip club in South Beach. Sure, it keeps...
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Jugo Fresh Features Organic Juices, Opens Today in South Beach

​Jugo Fresh, an all-natural juice company that features live, organic juices, is opening its doors today in South Beach.The shop presses their own fully organic fruits and vegetables. These unpasteurized juices are nutrient-dense and alive, meaning once pressed they have a shelf life of only 96 hours. That makes maintaining...
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Top Ten Rap Felons: Shoot Outs, Beat Downs, and Face Eating

In the gritty rap game, honor is everything. And honor usually means a bag full of automatic weapons at an airport. Alright, not every rapper's got a rap sheet. But if you talk the talk, you're expected to do the time. A mean MC with a big mouth is just...
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Trayvon Martin Evidence: Zimmerman “Racist” and Martin Smoked Pot

Prosecutors in the Trayvon Martin case released a stash of evidence to a mouth-watering press horde yesterday evening, making public hundreds of pages of witness testimony, medical reports and photos. The headline takeaways: Zimmerman was hurt (his nose broken and head bloodied) and a few neighbors told police he was...
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Burger King’s Bacon Sundae: An Erection on Top

You got to hand it to Miami-based Burger King, The executives have some weird ideas broiling in their brains, Take the Burger King Bacon Sundae, which is being tested in select restaurants in Nashville. The new dessert item is a cup of soft-serve vanilla ice cream drizzled in hot fudge...
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Heat Can’t Sweep as Knicks Take Game Four

The Miami Heat showed up to Madison Square Garden for Game 4 yesterday and, while they have plenty of fucks to give, they must have left them in their other jeans, because for three quarters the Heat played like they had none to give away. None fucks. And so the...