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54. Chicken Parmesan at Vesper

It's that time of year when we count down to New Times' Best of Miami 2012 issue in June. Until then, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com54. Chicken Parmesan at...
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Trayvon Martin Shooting: Miami-Dade Schools Superintendent Alberto Carvalho Says Failure To Investigate is “Cause For Outrage”

Count Miami-Dade Schools Superintendent Alberto Carvalho's voice among those blasting the lack of an arrest in the shooting of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. An Orlando-area self-proclaimed neighborhood watchman, George Zimmerman, killed the 17-year-old Miami Gardens native Martin, who attended Michael Krop Senior High. He claimed it was self-defense, but 911...
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SoBeWFF: Why We Heart Symon’s BBQ & The Blues

The grub and the booze lasted all night long, and that's why we loved Thrillist's BBQ & The Blues last night. There was no line to get in, simply present your ticket and boom, welcome to the party (Burger Bash snaked around for what seemed like miles, a pissed out...
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Dancing With The Stars Week Six: Ain’t Too Proud to Dance

Gavin DeGraw is gone! Rejoice!This does mean we have nobody's stupid hat fetish to mock anymore, unless Roshon wants to take it up. But we're still counting this as a victory for humankind.It's Motown week on Dancing With The Stars, which means you can take solace that for one week,...
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Six Other Public Figures Whose Tax Documents We’d Like To See

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney released his tax returns this morning, the result of a long and whiny campaign by his opponents to counter his "I'm just an average dude" stance. Unsurprisingly, the documents show an income of $45 million, with $3 million paid in taxes and gifts of over...
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Miami Club Rum: A Distillery Tour (Photos)

You might miss the entrance to the Miami Club Rum distillery (2320 N Miami Avenue, Miami), housed alongside the locked galleries and thrift shops that line North Miami Avenue in Wynwood. The nondescript building is rather small when compared to most rum distilleries in the Caribbean, which come equipped with...
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What Makes Florida So Fun for Freaky Felons?

It's almost like he did it on purpose. In the same week New Times published the results of a weird-crime-off between Florida and Texas (which Florida won, duh), police arrested Tyree Lincoln Smith. The official charge: murder. The freaky details: Dude allegedly killed a man in Connecticut, then ate his...
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Five Embarrassing Presidential Bumps and Bruises

. Dude could probably whoop your ass, most certainly bench-presses more than you, and is undeniably a better hockey player. The 68-year-old Massachusetts senator rocked two black eyes and a broken nose to the State of the Union address this week, the result of a recent pick-up hockey game. Despite...
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Dwyane Wade’s Dad Ejected From Bulls Game For Dirty Mouth

Apparently LeBron James isn't the only Heat star with a sometimes embarrassing parent. Dwyane Wade's father, Dwyane Wade Sr., was ejected from the United Arena last night during the Bulls-Heat game, reportedly for yelling obscenities. Jeez, what a big fucking bag of dicks. Updated. ...
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Miami Rum Renaissance Festival: Ten New Rums You Haven’t Tried Yet

View photos from Miami Rum Renaissance Festival 2012 at Deauville Beach Resort here.The Miami Rum Renaissance Festival at the Deauville Resort concluded last evening with a 6:45 p.m. "last call", prompting event goers to rush to their favorite rum booth for one last mojito or shot of the elixir favored...
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The Unbelievable Paco de Lucia: A Career Overview

His name was not yet Paco de Lucia. The year is 1958. A portable Zenith Royal 500D transistor radio blares flamenco on the dock of a bustling fishing port in southwestern Spain. Seagulls circle, schooners and charter boats sit anchored, and tough-looking men begin to unload cargo. The air is...
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Fix-a-Flat Butt Doc Oneal Morris Arrested Again

Oneal Ron Morris, the unlicensed "doctor" arrested last year after allegedly injecting substances like caulk and fix-a-flat tire sealant into the rear end of a patient, has been arrested again. Morris turned herself into to Broward Sheriff's Deputies yesterday on new charges of practicing medicine without a license after three...
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Rap Music’s Top Six Paternity Suits

Did you know that Ol' Dirty Bastard had 13 kids, three of whom he neglected to pay child support for in 1997 alone? Illegitimate children are overwhelmingly common in rap music. From Brooklyn to the Louisiana bayou, rappers' baby mamas have tried pushing paternity suits on their rhyming exes ever...