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Oyyyy, dem Mahleens!
It is becoming inevitable that Jose Fernandez will have to undergo Tommy John surgery in the near future, ending what was sure to be a CY Young caliber sophomore season, and likely causing him to miss a good portion of next year. Apparently Marlins fans just can’t have nice things, and it’s all obviously related to the fact that their soulless owner long ago made a pact with the devil.
The injury really is a stomp to the Marlins fans junk. The team was off to a surprisingly impressive start that saw them holding first place in the NL East just last week. Now they have lost five in a row, are sinking toward last in the NL East, and their favorite player not named Stanton is out for 12 to18 months. Other than that everything has been great lately.
So instead of Jose Fernandez pitching tonight, Miami Marlins fans get Anthony DeSclafani, a player they got from the Blue Jays in the “haha just kidding suckers, we aren’t spending more money!” fire sale last year, which in some ways makes perfect sense.
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The news has hit Marlins fans hard, and is having them question what the meaning of life is, and for that matter, why God hates them.
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