Last week, Gov. Rick Scott unveiled a new PR campaign intended to help draw businesses to Florida, and because Scott cannot do one single thing without generating controversy, critics are attacking the logo used in the PR push as sexist. …
To be a successful tampon thief, one must think like a tampon. Unfortunately, Alyson Strosser, 47, didn’t prove to be a good fit for her hiding spot when police tracked her down. Strosser was caught by a CVS manager in Port St. Lucie trying to steal a host of items on December…
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You bought that 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant off of Amazon, didn’t you? Because according to Amazon.com sales data, Miami is the sexiest city in America. Which means we buy more “sexual wellness” products off of Amazon per capita than any other city. That also helps make us the…
The Miami Dolphins won their first legislative battle in a war to secure taxpayer money to cover half of the planned $400 million upgrades to Sun Life Stadium this morning as the bill passed its first Senate committee unanimously. …
Marco Rubio may be on his way to being one of the most powerful men in Washington, DC, but that doesn’t mean he’s lost his common touch. Florida’s junior senator unleashed his latest Spotify playlist on the world, and his music taste is pretty much that of an average Y100…
Our own Senator Spacesnakes is apparently one of the biggest bad asses in all of Washington D.C. He’s been named by U.S. News and World Reports as one of the top ten “toughest” politicians in America. …
Today’s photo comes from Snappr007’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group…
The Miami Hurricanes basketball team has reached new heights: they’re now the number eight team in the country according to the AP poll. The ‘Canes have only been here once before, and that was way back in 1960 when they were also ranked 8th. It’s the team’s highest ranking since…
Penelope Soto will spend the next thirty days in jail for basically being the most stereotypically catty teenage girl ever. The 18-year-old was in court today for her arraignment on charges of possession of Xanax bars (the drug of choice of catty teen girls, obviously), but certainly wouldn’t have been found…
It is hard enough out there for a single mother giraffe just trying to get by with out some boned up douche giraffe male trying to force himself upon her. Kita the Giraffe, a 29-year-old lady giraffe at Zoo Miami, took a tumble yesterday while running away from a male giraffe…
There are two great myths about Cuba: that Fidel Castro is already dead, and that they actually have democracy. Well, yesterday Castro was spotted out in public for the first time in three years to cast a ballot in yesterday’s general election. Because, you know, every vote is really important…
Former Hialeah Mayor and Miami-Dade mayoral candidate Julio Robaina could soon be indicted on charges of tax evasion and loan sharking soon, at least according to Local 10. The former Hialeah kingpin has been under investigation by federal agencies for three years now, and a defense attorney for another man…
Today’s photo comes from RayFineArt’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
While the rest of the world found out this week about Dan Marino’s secret love child, don’t feel too bad for his wife Claire Marino. She’s known about it forever, and is totally over it…
Nicholas R. Fornaro, a 26-year-old former corrections officer in Punta Gorda, Florida, hired a 43-year-old hooker last September, but when it came time to pay, he fessed up that he didn’t have the money. Instead, he gave the woman a shark tooth. A week later, the prostitute’s own brother called…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
After New Times linked Alex Rodriguez to a local nutritionist who provided performance enhancing drugs to athletes early this week speculation has run rampant about his future. His camp however seems to want to make one thing clear: he’s not retiring anytime soon…
Remember right after the Dolphin’s one-win season a few years ago when The Onion wrote, “NFL Denies Miami Dolphins’ Request To Watch Super Bowl.”Well, that story has come true for the Miami Heat. NBA scheduling has effectively made it impossible for LeBron and co. to watch the big game…
It has not been a good two days for Miami police officers. Just yesterday, officer Reynaldo Goyos was fired for killing an unarmed man during a traffic stop while officer Luis Hernandez was arrested on charges of kidnapping and sexual battery.Now, yet another officer for the department finds himself in…
Today’s photo comes from Claudio Baglietto’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
If you need a car, truck or van. Who you gonna call? Not Maroone. The mega car dealership chain is changing its name, and will from now on be going using the name of its parent company, AutoNation.But does this mean that South Florida most ubiquitous jingle is going anywhere?…
