305 Photo of the Day: Tree Tribe
Today’s photo comes from Dkeros’ Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
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Victoria Jackson’s Weird TV Appearance: She Thinks Homosexuality is a Sin, But Loves Her Gay Friends
Perhaps in an alternative world Miami-native Victoria Jackson’s post-SNL career could have been as a gay comedy icon. What better audience for her squeaky voice and kitsch comedy than the gays (who do you think still goes to Judy Tenuta shows?). Instead she’s a right-wing wacko who attacked Glee for…
Rick Scott Owns the World’s Ugliest Custom Cowboy Boots
This isn’t Texas, and no one really expects our governor to tramp around in cowboy boots. Maybe wearing the “official” Florida shoe, the flip-flop, would be appropriate, but cowboy boots? Well, it turns out Rick Scott has a thing for boots that might rival Rep. Frederica Wilson’s fetish for hats…
Obama Was Right: Hurricanes Ousted by Sooners in NCAA Women’s Tournament
Regardless of who holds the office, we generally prefer that the president of the United States generally be correct in his decision-making. Unfortunately for us, Barack Obama saw the Miami Hurricanes making a second-round exit in the NCAA Women’s Basketball tournament at the hands of the Oklahoma Sooners. He was…
Videos of LeBron James and Pat Riley Dancing Badly
Don’t expect anyone connected with the Miami Heat to show up on Dancing With the Stars anytime soon. If LeBron James and Pat Riley are any indication, it seems that the dancing in American Airlines Arena should best be left to the official Heat dancers. James’s moves maybe aren’t the…
305 Photo of the Day: Twirls and Whirls
Today’s photo comes from TechYourPictures’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group…
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Jacory Harris Back Atop Canes QB Depth Chart
Sure to be overshadowed by the alleged “fuck the police” antics of linebacker Ramon Buchanan, but more relevant to next season’s on-the-field action comes the news that Jacory Harris is once again the number one QB for the Miami Hurricanes. The news comes as the team released its second depth chart as…
Fidel Castro Quit as Communist Party Leader Five Years Ago, Just Bothered to Let Everyone Know Now
Facing failing health in 2006, Fidel Castro transferred his presidential title and duties to his brother Raúl, but it was thought he still held onto his power as chief of the Cuban Communist Party. In a newspaper column published today, though, Castro revealed he resigned that post five years ago…
Rick Scott Will be Holding “Facebook Townhall” Tonight
Back in January Gov. Rick Scott tried to connect with the people of Florida through Twitter. He, of course, got called a “jackass” and decided to sign off shortly after. Now he’s giving this whole interwebs thing another try and will be hosting a Facebook Townhall tonight…
Girls Gone Wild is Casting in Miami Beach on Wednesday
Ladies who have a vested interested in keeping their breasted interests private might want to steer clear of Automatic Slim’s on South Beach this Wednesday. Women who don’t mind appearing topless on television screens of men too timid to buy real porn, well then perk up and make your plans…
Thieves Tie Up 95-Year-Old Woman, Ransack House
Thieves in Miami tied up a 95-year-old woman along with two other women while brandishing a gun and ransacked a home this afternoon. The women weren’t hurt, but the desperate thieves who apparently couldn’t find any babies with candy to steal from or fish in barrels to shoot, made away…
Q Scores: People Don’t Hate LeBron James Nearly as Much Anymore
Good news for LeBron James: he’s not nearly as hated as he was following his infamous “decision.” According to The Q Score Company, which tracks public perception of celebrities, brands and other entities, James’ popularity has slowly bounced back in the months since. Though, he’s nowhere near as popular as…
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Nearly One in Five Florida Homes Are Empty
Here’s a staggering statistic from the continued fallout of Florida’s real estate bust: 18 percent of homes in Florida, or nearly one in five, sit empty. That’s a 62 percent increase in empty homes in the past ten years, and the surplus of inventory on the market ensures that home prices…
305 Photo of the Day: Stop Where?
Today’s photo comes from OhCarolinea’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here, join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Koran Set on Fire at Terry Jones’s Gainesville Church
Remember Terry Jones? The pastor of the tiny, fundamentalist Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, who set off a mini-international spectacle by threatening to host International Burn a Koran Day on the anniversary of 9/11? After widespread criticism and condemnation, he decided to call it off, but this past weekend, Jones’s church…
Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer
While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has…
Victoria Jackson Finds Glee‘s Gay Kiss “Sickening”
It’s with much trepidation that we once again visit the strange, twisted world of former SNL star, Miami native, and Tea Party sideshow Victoria Jackson. When she’s not busy singing about how “there’s a communist in the White House,” she’s cackling about how evil the Muslims and the gays are…
Note to Local Hotels: Never Let Charlie Sheen and Bret Michaels Rent a Room
Talk about a confederacy of douches. In retrospect, it only makes sense that Bret Michaels and Charlie Sheen are good friends. Apparently they once owned a production company together, and Michaels taught Sheen the first thing any self-respecting bad boy celebrity needs to know: the proper trashing of a hotel…
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Barack Obama Snubs Hurricanes in His Women’s Basketball Bracket
The men’s NCAA basketball tournament is underway, as is your office bracket, but the women’s tournament kicks off tomorrow. Unlike the men’s tourney, a local team, the Miami Hurricanes, actually has a shot at making it well into the depth of the women’s tourney as a number three seed. Unfortunately,…
Burger King Dumps Ad Agency Crispin Porter
Together they brought us the creepy Burger King, the subservient chicken, the Whopper freakout, and other attention-grabbing, slightly subversive ads, but now Burger King and ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky, both Miami-based companies, have parted ways. It’s truly the end of an era…
305 Photo of the Day: Branches by the Bay
Today’s photo comes from DKeros’ Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Pedobear Makes Awkwardly Appropriate Appearance in Florida Coupon Book
Pedobear, the online meme meant to mock pedophiles, recently popped up in a Lakeland, Florida coupon book for a computer parts distribution company called CP Distributor. Unfortunately, CP also stands for “child pornography,” and it appears some clueless coupon designer included the image not knowing the implications. To keep the…