Six Canes Football Players Suspended for Season Opener

While the program remains officially silent, a report by InsideTheU.com that six Hurricanes football players have been suspended for next season’s opener against Maryland has now been confirmed by two NBCMiami sources. Seantrel Henderson, one of the top recruits in the nation in the class of 2010, is among the…

Charlie Sheen Is Bringing His Tour to South Florida

If you want to see a sad former(?) drug addict ramble about bizarre delusions of grandeur, you can do it for free on many of South Florida’s street corners. Or you can shell out $61 to $102 to see one at the BankAtlantic Center in April. That’s right — Charlie…

Special Election, Not Appointment, Likely for Next Mayor

After Tuesday’s unambiguous recall of Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez and Commissioner Natacha Seijas, could you even imagine what would happen if county commissioners decided to exercise the option to appoint a new mayor themselves? If not a full-out voter revolt and more recalls, at least certainly pain for those commissioners…

So, When Will Brandon Marshall Join the Heat?

Last August, Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall said he’d pursue an NBA career if there was an NFL lockout. Well, the lockout is here. Chad Ochocinco has already made plans to join a Major League soccer team, and one member of the Cowboys has returned to arena football. So,…

Florida Lawmakers Want to Close Schools on Veteran’s Day

State agencies close every year on Veteran’s Day, yet schools remain open. Some Florida lawmakers want to change that with the altruistic day that kids will spend the day visiting veterans and watching parades. Note to politicians: kids who get the day off from school just play Wii and watch…

Real Housewives’ Lea Black: Sarah Palin is a Circus Sideshow

You might not know it from the freak show that is Bravo’s Real Housewives of Miami, but star Lea Black is a pretty prominent figure in Florida’s Democratic party fund-raising machine. Along with her attorney husband Roy Black, she held the very first fund-raiser for then-candidate Barack Obama in Florida…

Miamians are Getting Fatter, According to Gallup Info

Gallup released its annual findings on metro areas’ well-being last week, and the Miami-area didn’t place all that high or low. Though, perhaps the biggest difference from last year’s findings when it comes to Miamians is that we’re getting a little more chubby. Gallup claims 23 percent of Miamians are…

Bags of Human Body Parts Possibly Found in Biscayne Bay

Following a bizarre string of body parts washing up on the shores of South Florida late last year, a man may have discovered yet another bag of body parts floating in Biscayne Bay. A bicyclist on Brickell Key spotted two grocery bags floating near shore, and at first thought they…

Chad Ochocinco to Try Out for Pro Soccer Team

Giving that Chad Ochocinco grew up in soccer-loving Miami, it’s no surprise that he used to play the sport in his youth, but the colorful Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver is know more for his skills with his hands than his feet. Now, in the face of an NFL labor lockout,…

Tea Party Claims Victory in Alvarez Recall …Uh, Wait, What?

“Tea Party Revolt: Miami Mayor Recalled,” proclaims Fox News’ Fox Nation website, while other Tea Party segments of the world wide web take glee in the ousting of Carlos Alvarez. True some of the politics involved share similarities: raising property taxes was the deed that caused Norman Braman to organize…

305 Photo of the Day: Dream Team

Today’s photo comes from TechYourPicture’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…

Cocaine Found at Kennedy Space Center, Again

Aside from David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust era, cocaine and space exploration really aren’t supposed to mix. Could you imagine what Neil Armstrong’s famous quote would have been if he was high during his one small step on the moon? “That’s one small step… holy crap, dude, I’m on the moon;…

Recall Results: Alvarez and Seijas Are Gone

The people of Miami-Dade have spoken, and they were not ambiguous about it: County Mayor Carlos Alvarez and Commissioner Natacha Seijas are out of a job. The total vote count isn’t in just yet, but as of now, both were ousted with about 88 percent of voters checking “yes.”…

Udonis Haslem Returns to Practice, Might Play Again Soon

Fan favorite, Miami Heat co-captain, and only actual local boy on the team, Udonis Haslem has returned to practice after tearing a ligament in his foot this past November. ESPN reports Haslem took part in shooting drills during team practice yesterday and that a return to competition before the end…

Proposed Bill Would Make It a Felony to Photograph Farms

State Sen. Jim Norman, a Republican from Tampa, is very concerned about a farm’s right to privacy, while showing little regard for the First Amendment. He has filed a bill in the Florida Senate that would make it a first-degree felony to photograph or videotape farms without express written consent…

Miami Is the Wireless-Savviest City in America

Miami has no use for your antiquated wires. According to a survey of small-business owners and employees conducted by AT&T, Miami is the wireless-savviest business market in America. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Miamians are addicted to their cell phones and other Wi-Fi devices, though…