Mario Chalmers Will Never Eat Crab Dip Again

The Miami Heat dropped a preseason away game to the Washington Wizards last night, but perhaps the Verizon Center’s crab dip had just as much to do with it as the team. Mario Chalmers was pretty much a non-factor last night, and he blames his poor performance on downing the…

Bring Soccer Back: Ten Reasons Miami Is Ready for an MLS Team

On Monday, ESPN reported that Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is planning to partner with David Beckham to bring an MLS expansion team to Miami. MLS commissioner Don Garber, meanwhile, has said three of the four expansion sites after New York City FC have been “spoken for.” Miami, Orlando, and Atlanta…

Ricky Williams Says Weed Was to Him What Spinach Is to Popeye

I’m Ricky the football man, I’m Ricky the football man. I gots lot of speed ’cause I smokes me my weed. I’m Ricky the football man. Don’t mind us. We’re just writing Ricky Williams’ new theme song. The former Miami Dolphins who was frequently suspended and disciplined for his marijuana…

The Sad Ballad of Seantrel Henderson’s Miami Hurricanes Career

Seantrel Henderson came to the Miami Hurricanes as one of the most celebrated and heavily recruited offensive tackles. In Sunday’s game against Georgia Tech, Henderson sat out the game — yet again — for unspecified team rules violations, and it looked like the Canes hardly missed him. His college career…

Sacks, Dropped Passes Result in Dolphins 26-23 Loss To Ravens

The Dolphins lost to the Ravens 26-23 yesterday after kicker Justin Tucker put the Ravens ahead for good on a 44-yard field goal with 1:42 left to go. The Dolphins had a final chance to at least tie the game thanks to some crazy heroics by quarterback Ryan Tannehill to…

Watch: Chris Bosh Made a Cameo on Parks & Rec Last Night

Chris Bosh has continued his impressive streak of making cameos during primetime TV. He’s already appeared Jessie, Go On, Law & Order: SVU, and Entourage. Last night, without any warning, Bosh popped up in the middle of Parks & Recreation. See also: Aubrey Plaza Has a Chris Bosh Obsession…

Ravens at Dolphins This Sunday: Four Keys For a Fins Win

After a humbling loss to the Saints, how will the Dolphins bounce back? What can they do? Who do they want to be? Are they better than what that performance delineated? Are they worse than what their record tells us? The season will answer these questions with unforgiving evidence. The…

Miami Heat Training Camp: Five Questions to Answer This Preseason

The Miami Heat kicked off their 2013 training camp Tuesday in the Bahamas, because of course they did, officially kicking off their attempt at back-to-back-to-back NBA titles, or as many are terming it, “Three-Heat.” The team largely returns most of the same key components that led it to the past…

Marlins No-Hitter Memorial Tickets Were Just PDFs, Had Wrong Date

Yesterday the sports world was taken by surprise when the Marlins announced that they were selling unsold tickets to a game that had been played the day before. Ostensibly they were meant as memorabilia to commemorate Henderson Alvarez’s walk-off no-hitter. Turns out the “tickets” are just PDFs you’re meant to…

Saints Crush Dolphins 38-17

Well, that fucking sucked. The fiery blaze you witnessed last night — descending unto the Earth with inestimable velocity and indiscriminate violence — was not the meteor that yielded the Chicxulub crater, but that previously sweet Dolphins high you were nursing. The Dolphins came into New Orleans feelin’ pretty damn…