305 Photo of the Day: Oh, Dear
Today’s photo comes from Keylargo_Diver’s Flickr. If you ‘d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
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Hialeah Woman Arrested for Administering Illegal Butt Injections
You would think that after all the publicity that the arrest of Oneal Ron Morris, the transgendered woman who was caught injecting substance including Fix-a-Flat into people’s butts (and, seemingly, her own), received, people would know not to go shady people to get their butts enhanced.Yet, Samela Hernandez, 53, of…
Charlie Crist Officially Became a Democrat Today in Full Out Media Spectacle
Charlie Crist was officially wed to the Democratic party today in a quiet ceremony attended only be close friends and family. The pair had announced their engagement over the weekend at a White House Christmas party.Just kidding. The former Republican governor turned a Pinellas County elections office into a full…
Man Busted for Sex with Mini-Donkey Will Challenge Florida’s Anti-Bestiality Law
Do Americans have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of sexy times with animals?The lawyers of a Florida man who is being prosecuted under Florida’s relatively new anti-bestiality law after being caught in an intimate situation with his pet miniature donkey claim that the law violates the constitution…
Manuel Moraga, Miami Beach Police Officer Fired After ATV Crash, Wins Job Back
Manuel Moraga, a Miami Beach police officer who was fired after that now infamous ATV police crash on Fourth of July weekend of 2011, has won his job back. Moraga was not directly involved in the crash, but was supposed to be supervising the two officers who were. Instead he…
John McAfee, Software Guru and Suspected Murderer, Is Coming to Miami
It seems that all bizarre news stories somehow wind up finding their way to Florida.The saga of John McAfee, the anti-virus software tycoon who may or may not have murdered his neighbor in Belize, is following that natural trajectory now that he’s been released by Guatemalan police and soon will…
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305 Photo of the Day: GOP Platform
Today’s photo comes from AndDouglasSay’s Tumblr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Matt Drudge Just Splashed the N-Word Seven Times Across the Front of The Drudge Report
Miami-based conservative techno hermit Matt Drudge is no stranger to good old fashioned race baiting, but the headline currently adorning The Drudge Report maybe went just a little too far. It is literally just the phrase: ‘N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER.’…
Marco Rubio Is Going Bald, According to Esquire
We guess it’s a sure sign that you really are a political superstar when men’s magazine Esquire starts writing about your hair.The mag’s website points out that Marco Rubio’s hair is looking mighty thin up on top lately, and thinks the Florida senator is trying to overcompensate for it in…
Stripper Shot at Miami Garden’s Strip Club
Early this morning, two people, including a dancer, were injured during a shooting at The Office Gentlemen’s Club in Miami Gardens. The shooter is believe to be a man who got in an argument with one of the club’s bouncers…
GOP Chair Reince Priebus Sued for “Underfranchising” Hispanic Voters
After last month’s electoral loss, the Republican Party is desperately trying to make it self over as a Hispanic friendly group, but the fact that a group representing Hispanic Republican voters in Florida has now filed a lawsuit against Reince Priebus, the national GOP chair with a name that sounds…
LeBron James: “Charles Barkley Needs to Shut Up”
Basketball star turned professional mouth Charles Barkley has emerged as the preeminent Miami Heat hater of our times, and LeBron James for one has had enough.James told Barkley to “shut up” point blank after the TNT analyst took shots at Dwyane Wade’s athletic ability…
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Hurricanes Player Thomas Finnie Arrested for Laptop Theft
University of Miami Hurricanes player Thomas Finnie may not have the name recognition of Cam Newton, but he finds himself in a similar situation. No, not in contention for a Heisman, but accused of a laptop theft.The defensive back was arrested today on charges of occupied burglary and grand larceny…
305 Photo of the Day: Red and Dead
Today’s photo comes from GarciaGirl’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Got Jury Duty? Miami-Dade May Soon Actually Let You Park for Free
Jury duty in Miami-Dade is the worst. You have to get there at nine am. and sit in a crowded room while being subjected to an endless display of nothing but Sandra Bullock movies, then, if you’re picked for a jury pool, you’re shepherded around the courthouse all day like…
Florida Ranked 34th Most Healthy State in the Station, Which Makes Us Pretty Healthy for the South
You’d think with all our good weather and miles of sandy beaches, Floridians would have extra reason to stay healthy, but no. According to the latest edition of United Health Foundation’s America’s Health Rankings, Florida is only ranked the 34th most healthy state in the nation. Of course, we are…
305 Photo of the Day: Sunrise Sailing
Today’s photo comes from Miami Tom’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Latest Elmo-gate Accuser Claims He Met Kevin Clash in Miami Beach
The ongoing sex scandal engulfing Kevin Clash, the voice of Elmo, has finally found its way back to Miami.A fourth accuser has come forward, and claims he met Clash in Miami Beach when he was just 16 or 17. The man, now 33 and only identified as “John Doe,” claims…
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Wisconsin Reportedly Interested in Hurricanes Coach Al Golden
Al Golden has only compiled a 13-11 record as head coach of the Miami Hurricanes, but he’s done so under difficult circumstances. His efforts have caught the eye of other schools’ Athletic Directors, and he’s been rumored as a possible candidate for recent vacancies at Boston College and Tennessee. Now,…
Florida Man Gets Eight Years in Prison for Snorting Cremated Human and Dog Remains
In one of the stupidest Florida crime stories in recent memory (which is really saying something), three teens broke into a Silver Spring Shores home and found the cremated remains of the owner’s father and two pet Great Danes. Thinking they were some sort of drug, the teens decided to…
Hugo Chavez Names Successor Before He Undergoes Fourth Cancer Surgery
When Hugo Chavez made his first mysterious trip to Cuba for cancer surgery last year, many predicted the Venezuelan president’s health would give out before last October’s elections. The dictator seemed to have made a surprising recovery and won reelection, but it seems his health problems are far from over…
Ssion Causes Total Pool Panic at Shore Club for Pulse Miami Art Fair Afterparty
If you mix alcohol, dancing and a queer pop collective with a fancy hotel and a pool, you’re probably going to end up pissing off security. Over the weekend, the Ssion crew set up at the Shore Club for the Pulse Miami Art Fair afterparty, delivering a set that included…