305 Photo of the Day: Trumped
Today’s photo comes from MaydayRelay’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
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Marco Rubio Starts Rap Beef with Pitbull and Scientists
Marco Rubio and Pitbull may be the two Cuban-American Miamians who, more than anyone else, have shot to national prominence in their own ways in the past few years, but don’t expect the two to be hanging out anytime soon. In a new interview with GQ, Sen. Rubio starts some serious…
Florida Woman Going Through Divorce Spray Paints Broken Hearts All Over Jacksonville’s New $350M Courthouse
Duval County recently opened a brand new $350-million courthouse, but a woman going through a dramatic divorce decided that it needed a final touch that only a $5 can of spray paint can bring.Audrey Dostie, 35, was apparently unhappy with her divorce proceedings and decided to cover the building in…
Kardashian Sisters Will Receive The Key to North Miami Today Because We Live In a Sad, Dark World
Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian will officially receive the key to the city of North Miami this morning, because that’s just the cold, sad, dark world we live in now a days…
For Jeffrey Loria, Whether It Comes to Art or Baseball, It’s All About Making Money
Never trust anyone who’s made a multi-million dollar fortune in art. With that kind of cash in the bank, you can almost guarantee they love money a hell of a lot more than they love art.Now that Jeffrey Loria is the most hated man in baseball after lying to everyone…
Obama Nominates Miami’s William Thomas as First Black, Openly Gay Male Federal Judge
Miami-Dade Judge William Thomas will make history. He’s been nominated by President Obama to serve on the United States District Court for the Southern District of Florida, and if his appointment is approved by the Senate, he’d become the first black, openly gay man to ever serve as a federal…
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305 Photo of the Day: Just a Small Town Girl…
Today’s photo comes from Kev Cook’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Florida Teen Shoots Himself in the Face at a Library With a .38 Special
A 16-year-old boy is recovering after shooting himself in the face at the Dickinson Memorial Library in Orange City, Florida, yesterday afternoon. According to WESH, the boy had brought the .38 special into the library and began to show it to friends. It accidentally shot off, and hit the boy…
Florida Unemployment Drops to Lowest Rate Since October 2008
Lets party like its …um, 2008. We’re still not quite back to pre-economic meltdown levels yet, but Florida’s unemployment rate has dropped to its lowest number since October of 2008.As of last month, Florida’s unemployment rate was 8.5 percent. That’s down from 8.7 percent in September…
Florida Teacher to Student Who Wanted To Use Water Fountain: “Pour This Water Over My Body and You Can Lick It Off”
Math class is certainly not supposed to be sexy, and if it is, then you might have a problem.A former student at Port St. Lucie High School has filed suit against his math teacher Meri-Ann Johnson and the St. Lucie County school board, claiming that several remarks Johnson made in…
Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado Pens Letter to Bud Selig Protesting Marlins Trade
Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado basically won his position because while serving on the city commission he was one of the few voices against funding for the new Marlins’ stadium. So, it’s no surprise he’s pissed about Jeffrey Loria’s megatrade firesale this week.Regalado has even penned a letter to MLB commissioner…
Obama Won Florida Because of the Gay Vote
Barack Obama might have gay voters to thank for his reelection, especially right here in Florida. A new analysis suggests that if only straight people went to the polls here, Romney would have pulled off a win by something like two percentage points…
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Photo of the Day: Just Driven Over a Cliff
Today’s photo comes from Infinity & Beyond Photography: Kev Cook’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Here’s the Taiwanese Animation Take on the Marlins Fiasco
Not a news story goes by without the Taiwanese-based Next Media Animation turning it into some low budget Pixar-lite masterpiece, and the recent Miami Marlins controversy is no exception. If, for whatever reason, you’re not sure what’s going on, this clip will explain it to you perfectly in a way…
Marco Rubio Explains Rich People Are Just Too Rich to Pay More Taxes
President Obama has come out strong in favor of raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans, but Marco Rubio thinks that’s a fool’s errand. In Rubio’s mind, the rich just have too much money to waste on things that will get them out of paying taxes anyway…
Florida Man Arrested for Threatening to “Hunt Down” and Kill Obama on Facebook
After 28-year-old Melbourne, Florida resident Christopher Castillo made a Facebook update informing his friend that he was going to “hunt down” and kill President Obama, a friend informed him the threat could be considered a federal offense. “I wouldn’t call it a threat but more of a promise, let them…
Florida Teacher Carried on Affair with Student By Pretending to Be Fake Student’s Mom
Danielle Reed, a 23-year-old high school English teacher up in Jacksonville, carried on a month-long affair with one of her students. Reed even managed to trick the student’s mother into letting him sleep over at her place. How’d she do it? By making up a fake student, and pretending to…
Jeffrey Loria Won’t Explain What The Hell He’s Doing: “Not Today, Boys”
Jeffrey Loria hasn’t opened his mouth much after he turned the Miami Marlins into a Triple-A team last night, and when he has, it’s like an entire bag of dicks fell out. He’s stubbornly refusing to explain what the hell is actually going on with the Marlins, and just telling…
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305 Photo of the Day: Beach Watch
Today’s photo comes form SeanWasHere’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
A 44-Year-Old Grandma in Sarasota Took Her Granddaughter to a Drug Deal
There are few descriptors more woebegone than “44-year-old Sarasota grandma,” and yet this tale is sadder than that even suggests.Michelle Sears, the 44-year-old Sarasota grandmother in question, was stopped on Monday by a local sheriff’s deputy for driving with a suspended license. Sears’ six-year-old granddaugther was in the the passenger’s…
No, Charlie Crist Did Not Date Jill Kelley’s Twin Sister
The growing scandal involving the affairs of Gen. David Patraeus and Gen. John Allen looked for a minute like it was about to include, at least peripherally, former Gov. Charlie Crist as well. Yesterday, English paper The Daily Telegraph reported that Natalie Khawam, the twin sister of Jill Kelley, used…
Victoria Jackson Supports Secession, Isn’t Sure President Obama Actually Won The Presidency, Almost Forged Her Absentee Ballot
Victoria Jackson is continuing her post-election meltdown. After declaring “America died” on election night, Miami’s own SNL start turned Tea Party queen, is now trafficking in conspiracy theories that Barack Obama didn’t actually win the election, and is now a big supporter of the burgeoning secession movement…